this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2025
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I hate this heteronormative bullshit that topping is the same as domming
It doesn’t bother me one bit if people want to use a word to mean something different to them. It changes nothing in my relationships what they do or say.
What I do hate is your complaining about a group of people based on their sexuality. Seems so bitter.
It's heteronormative if you equate topping with being dominant.
Dancing is typically heteronormative because there's a standard (that's enforced for competitive dancing) that the man leads and the woman follows. And you can absolutely follow this as a same sex couple by assigning femme and butch roles and having the femme follow and the butch lead. But you can also switch it up, even while dancing.
When someone talks about heteronorms it's not about straight people. Of course toxic masculinity and ditto femininity is sad but the goal is not to reproduce that for queers, not too change what the straights are up to.
It's not heteronormative oh person with a hammer. You simply lack perspective, as yours seems entirely based on sex and literally none from kink.
Doming and Topping are two different things in the kink world, and imply similar yet drastically different things and are very deliminaited in play.
And even to the comic, it's BDSM/kink coded more than anything.