this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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Autism
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Yup. I spent a lot of time as a kid standing in front of the mirror wearing a towel pretending it was long beautiful hair
Grew up in an era before the idea of nonbinary was even spoken
Decades past puberty before I even realized I didn't have to consider myself male, way too late to do anything about it
People I used to call friends were disturbed by my lack of masculinity my entire life
90% of the time I just want someone to hold me while I cry and that hasn't happened since I was a child
Gotta be strong, gotta be the breadwinner, can't be vulnerable, can't be empathic or concerned with the wellbeing of others
So now I'm just a sad old man that never really enjoyed sex with anyone and never felt part of the 'guy crowd' that maybe shouldn't have been a man to begin with.
Just to put the cherry on it: I was built 6 foot and solid, zero external feminine traits
This gives so much perspective, and feels like not being alone, thank you.
Sometimes I struggle with my own, internalized expectations of masculinity and that the world expects a 6'8" guy who also has 0 external feminine traits to behave "like a man" doesn't make it easier.
I'm so incredibly fortunate to have found a strong woman who will hold me when I cry and loves me for my sensitivity and empathy.
None of this means I'm gender fluid, I'm... okay, relaxed, not unhappy with my masculinity, sometimes I can even revel in it. But modern sentiments that deconstruct social expectations of gender roles have made it sooooo much easier to just exist, even as a cis man for all the times that I strongly deviate from them. It's only that societal expectations have been internalized hard by my generation and it can still be such a struggle.
Comments like yours make it easier, because I know I'm not alone in this. Thank you.