this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
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I’d love to say “yes”, but the reality is more complicated than that.
Especially after coming out, years ago at this point, I’ve lost, gained, and again lost social circles.
Intermittent support from my mom, becoming mostly estranged from my dad, dealing with addiction, and misdiagnosed mental illness; it has been rough these past few years. There are of course small victories and positives, but spiraling down over things that may not even be real, and a couple of relapses, I have now put myself in a difficult financial situation. That has caused so much stress and strife in my life.
On top of this, we are dealing with increased hostility just for existing, socially and politically. We have become the scapegoat; the cause of society’s ills. It has really gotten to me, to the point where I am constantly on the defensive when I catch a whiff of bigotry or micro-aggression.
The sum of all of the parts is certainly greater than the whole.
It feels like I cannot get ahead—the feeling that I struggle to keep my head above water most of the time. Is it real or just perceived? I seriously cannot tell. In my mind’s eye, it does not matter. The way I experience it is still the same.
This reeks of “poor me”. I’m not sure how to describe it in any other way. I don’t need the support of others, nor their pity. It’s a path I feel I have to walk alone. I’m still trying to square that. It is so very difficult.
The silver lining is that I have my son, and he is more than enough for me. Him inching closer and closer to becoming a man makes me proud to be his parent each and every day.
Has life improved as I’ve grown older? I’m not sure.
I hear you there! You don't sound poor me at all, you sound like someone who has had a lot of shit to deal with. Its important to acknowledge that cos bottling up is bad.
When we come out, we lose people but gain others. It's an emotional time with a lot of upheaval and our people always change it just depends how much. You've lost key people with your mom and dad, they're not distant friends their parents. That's huge.
Obviously we can't go into politics, but I agree your very existence is under threat. I'm queer and I feel at risk because I know the things they say about you are what they used to say about us. They won't stop, and it's terrifying.
Living treading water is hard, and I'm not remotely surprised you've had MH issues. You wouldn't be human if you didn't react to this shit. I'm impressed you can see the positives in your son, and your strength will do great things for him.
Have you found our twin community !dadforaminute@lemmy.world They're great for when you need parental advice or hugs. My parents aren't around so I'm there a fair bit
Thank you for the kind words. I’ll def check out that community 🙂