this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2025
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.
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My nephew wants to be instantly good at things and it drives me crazy. He'll roll his eyes and say "of course you're going to make that shot (in billiards) or get frustrated that's he's not amazing without practicing in martial arts, video games, golf, fitness, etc. I'm sure he'll grow out of it, but in the meantime he won't work at it or accept instruction. I'm like "yeah dude, I've done this thousands of times. Let me help you!"
I love the feeling of neurons rewiring to form a new pathway of understanding. Or whatever the hell it is. At 38, it's a pleasure finding I can still learn and build new skills.
Playing Beat Saber and hitting a plateau only to find my focus starts to evaporate over the course of a hard track as I find that flow, that path to just being in it, each skill plateau merely being temporary, is great. Playing guitar and slowly starting to wire my brain for the pathway for barre chords and faster movement along the frets is a crazy feeling. That sense of finally finding the pathways for singing to operate even SLIGHTLY separately from the rhythm of the guitar, those glimpses of polyrhythm? Addicting.
If you're able, I hope you can teach him to find that pleasure of not mastery, but evolving strengths. Maybe it's like an RPG where skills can be leveled up over time the more you use them. I know all too well the frustration of imperfection to start, ADHD during the 90s and the whole "perfect student" pressure created a lot I had to undo and still am, but each time I can break free of that it's rewarding.
Well said. I will certainly do my best! 🫡