this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2025
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Off My Chest

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My friend joined a car forum, because she's into cars. She wanted to ask about car components, and the thread got about 14 pages in just a few days, but most people weren't actually answering her questions, they just kept accusing her of being a man because the forum apparently once had someone "pretending to be a woman". They kept calling her he/him, even though she said that she is a she (she's cis). She's 23 and most of the userbase on the mentioned forum are men in their 30's and 40's. She was being civil throughout the entire thing mentioning that it's rude to misgender someone. Apparently the way she talked was too "proper" to be "girly" and people responded that her knowledge of car components was a "red flag" that she must secretly be a man. She pointed out that she doesn't know why they're so obsessed over a random stranger's genitals and they replied back with "you're the one who mentioned genitals, we think you're the obsessed one here". I wish that I was joking. Reminds me of the internet 20 years ago.

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[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 10 points 3 days ago (4 children)

It seems like nonsense to even be wasting time arguing about whether she's a woman or not on a car forum, but how did it even come up?

[–] fushuan@piefed.blahaj.zone 11 points 3 days ago (3 children)

They misgendered her unknowingly and she corrected them as the post explains. Then came the 17 pages of misgendering and discussion.

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I didn't read the post that way, but that makes sense. I read it as they were calling her he/him because they had decided she wasn't a she after it had already come up.

Regardless they are such a bunch of fragile gatekeeping man babies. Even if it was a man who was asking to be called by female pronouns, why would they care? It's irrelevant to the topic.

[–] fushuan@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Even if she introduced herself as "I'm a 23yo girl" I think it's completely fine, I bet there's tons of posts that start with "I'm a 40yo dude living in X state that decided to buy this bad boy, I've been having issues with..." And just keep going and no one bats an eye.

I agree, fragile babies.

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 7 points 3 days ago

I think that's an odd way to start a post asking for car advice, but regardless the advice should hinge more on the vehicle and the problem rather than the sex of the advised. Having a dick has never helped me solve a problem with my cars ..