this post was submitted on 14 May 2025
677 points (99.3% liked)

Not The Onion

16205 readers
1958 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 25 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] mrbubblesort@lemmy.world 6 points 14 hours ago

The smartest thing he has ever said and he doesn't even realize it

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

My brother in christ you are the secretary for health

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 hours ago

While "fake it till you make it" works for personal gain, for the greatest good it's better to be incompetent and honest. No one to blame but Trump for putting him in this position.

Now if only he would remain steadfast and consistent with this sort of honesty. That's the issue with these fools, they are consistently inconsistent. It's the most aggravating form of stupidity.

[–] orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts 6 points 15 hours ago

Dude sounds like he’s just some confused fishing buddy that a friend hired.

[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 4 points 14 hours ago (3 children)

Elizabeth Holmes admits she was in control of Theranos

But Ms. Holmes... did you not start this company?

  "I swear to god, I was extremely incompetent. I had no clue what I did day in, day out. It's all just a blur. I'm not even sure why they hired me honestly."

  “Fuck if I know what I did on my years-long coke bender”

  "Not only am I a bad judge of who a good employee might be, but I'm also a bad employee. It's truly the worst situation, Your Honor."

  "I was self-employed and my boss was an incompetent jerk."

  "Seems to be a huge problem in self-employment. I’m self-employed, or was until my asshole boss got in a car accident in my car and somehow blamed the whole thing on me! Fucker is a procrastinator too."

  "I've already punished myself with a pay cut."

  "Look no reasonable person would have hired me, thus I'm clearly mentally unwell"

  "I’m gonna sue my ass for what I did to me!"

  “I am just a low-level CEO, I really just made the coffee.”

  "As I said, I was incompetent. I should never have hired me."

    She made the critical error of stealing from rich people

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 0 points 12 hours ago

So did Martin Shkreli. (LOL, I Googled "guy who raised drug prices". First hit from Gemini. Maybe AI ain't so dumb?)

Shkreli not only bragged about it but had the nerve to be an insufferable little bitch while he was at it. With a punchable face. At least Holmes is cute.

Steal from the poor all ya like, never the rich. Reverse Robin Hood: A-OK.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] dumbass@leminal.space 2 points 13 hours ago

But... You're the.... I.... I hate this timeline.

[–] zephorah@lemm.ee 2 points 14 hours ago

I’ll give him a slight amount of credit for saying that part out loud.

Let’s face it, his pushes are likely going to be cost cuts on anything the federal government is involved in, to try to make up on tax cuts and entitlement programs for the top 10%. Which will only, long game, make working class more unhealthy, angry, and desperate.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 15 hours ago

That's a twist

[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

Must have been the brain worm talking.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›