this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Kissaki@programming.dev 74 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Turned into a skeleton in 10 minutes

[–] Downcount@lemmy.world 55 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Yeah, also each query request was a human beeing. Such an unrealistic comic.

[–] brisk@aussie.zone 47 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

🏳️‍⚧️

[–] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

Also rings don't make you invisible.

[–] owen@lemmy.ca 36 points 1 year ago

Not to mention, mysql is a database management framework, while in the comic it's a food stand! Absurd!

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not queries, programs. They have pid

[–] Downcount@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Shoot, you are ~~right~~ wrong. They are processes.

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ah FUCK- mind said process, fingers typed program. But most of the time they are equivalent

[–] Downcount@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

The thing is, at first I actually, responded with "you are right". See, humans make errors. Also, this isn't a competence competition. (At least I hope so.)

[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If a query does not take 30 min does it even exist?

[–] Delta_V@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The waiting is how you know its giving you correct answers.

[–] Fridgeratr@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Exactly lol. If it's instant you know you fucked up

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Got sigkill-ed. But of course, this doesn't cancel the request

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 13 points 1 year ago

ca. 150'000'000'0000 CPU cycles.

[–] bappity@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (5 children)

8 JOINS???? ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE

[–] xpinchx@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago

You guys are only using 8 joins?

[–] souperk@reddthat.com 17 points 1 year ago

No, they are using an ORM.

[–] FurbiesAndBeans@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

It’s fine if they’re indexed correctly…

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I worked on an enterprise wide medical record system for seventeen years.

It had 10000 tables in the schema. Our particular setup populated 1500 of them. ( yes I meant tables).

8+plus happened...

[–] rimjob_rainer@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So are you using FHIR yet?

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Lol, is funny you ask. I mainly worked on interfaces.

The medical industry makes the banking industry look nimble.

The organization had a couple interfaces using the protocol when I left. But adoption is slow, just about everyone still uses HL7. But it has been a couple years.

I asked because I've been working in the same field for 10 years, interfaces as well. You can count our FHIR interfaces on one hand, the rest is DICOM, HL7 or proprietary.

[–] seliaste@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 year ago

What it feels like to smoke 8 joins

[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is fantastic and incredibly well made. Does anyone have the source?

[–] mac@programming.dev 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Tried looking. According to one of the users who posted it its by 0x00 whos the person who made floor 796. All things I can find relating to them are floor 796 related though and can't find where this was originally posted

Heres floor 796 though if anyones interested https://floor796.com

[–] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If your views aren't nested joins on views on views on views with group bys with wildcard text matching are you even trying to enter hell?

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Exactly. I once worked with a junior developer who had constructed a simple reusable view with test coverage. I don't think they were even trying to make a pact with the nether realm. I'm just not sure what SQL is coming to these days.

[–] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 2 points 1 year ago

Absolute amateur

[–] intelisense@lemm.ee 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Should have used Postgres...

[–] titey@jlai.lu 3 points 1 year ago

True true...

[–] vampire@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Say it with me everyone, INDICES

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Quick roll back the transaction

[–] Tja@programming.dev 3 points 1 year ago

MongoDB, on the other hand, is web scale.