Chat

7533 readers

34 users here now

Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.

Subcommunities on Beehaw:

AskBeehaw

This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

alyaza@beehaw.org

remington@beehaw.org

Intro To BDSM: Creating A Dom Persona ft. Yaz (inv.nadeko.net)

submitted 3 weeks ago by elfpie@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org

14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

If you think that what you are doing to someone else is too humiliating, degrading, unacceptable to think about happening to you, there's something to explore.

Go to 45:40 for a bit more context, but this quote is enough to start the discussion I have in mind.

The idea is simple and it’s mostly aimed at the ones with little interested in BDSM. BDSM is not abuse. It might be abusive, which is absolutely bad, but that should never be the nature of the practice.

From time to time, I see accusations of abuse being dismissed with the excuse it’s just a form of BDSM that people outside can’t understand. It’s not that hard to grasp the concepts, but you’ll notice you will never get an explanation. Serious people will know what they are talking about and are able to provide you with resources for you to educate yourself. Honestly, most people would find all the education and preparation quite boring, the same way someone that just wants to cut people up would find too bothersome to become a surgeon.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Powderhorn@beehaw.org 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I think Secretary didn't do a terrible job. But it's been downhill from there.

There are so many kinks within BDSM that trying to lump them all together is pointless. I'm a switch, so it's never clear what role I'll take with a new partner. But going into details has in the past not worked out so well here.

[–] elfpie@beehaw.org 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think Secretary is good bad representation. Two people figuring out how to navigate their kink, but also learning how to deal with their bad behavior. They are flawed and don't know what they are doing. It's a movie, not an inspiration for life.

[–] Powderhorn@beehaw.org 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I'm not saying it's perfect by any stretch, but an accurate depiction of a power-exchange lifestyle would make for terrible cinema. It's not all about whips, chains and leather. Dear god, can you imagine the critical reaction to an actual aftercare scene (no pun intended)?

[–] SweetCitrusBuzz@beehaw.org 1 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah, I have heard it brought up as a good example but wasn't sure. I'll check it out.

Not sure what you mean about trying to lump them all together.

[–] Powderhorn@beehaw.org 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

This insane notion that "BDSM" is a kink. That's like saying your favourite meal is food.

[–] Radiant_sir_radiant@beehaw.org 1 points 2 weeks ago

Seconded - Secretary is lovely for all the right reasons.