likely in response to my comments on the beehaw post, which i linked to (hopefully im doing this right?). apparently, calling people you dont know for the first time "they/them" before being told their pronouns is "misgendering". absurd. this kind of attitude threatens the larger LGBTQ community and is partially why cishets hate us after we won so much progress back in the 00s and 10s.
im a queer person. im neurodivergent. this shit is so goddamn fucking annoying, especially as an older queer who got physically assaulted on a near daily basis for being queer in the 90s. the kids today get their panties in a twist over being supposedly "misgendered" by someone calling them gender neutral pronouns before being corrected. narcissistic victimhood bullshit.
anyways, now banned from one of my favorite instances. meanwhile in the US theyre planning on hunting us. but yeah, lets ban fellow queers over their view that people who get mad about being "misgendered" when they arent (cis people are also referred to as "they/them" before further context in a conversation with a stranger) are just attention seeking brats that threaten the larger movement. its so obvious to me that the brats who find reason to be offended over innocent pronoun use never faced real adversity, like getting repeatedly physically beaten.
edit - the best part of all of this is i faced no moderation from beehaw and all of my comments are +1 or higher. power tripping oversensitive neurodivergent hating bastard of a mod over at blahaj IMO.
edit 2 - did this wrong. heres a link to the post i think got me banned from blahaj and a screenshot about it https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/37659465
Edit 3 - apparently I did nothing wrong until I made my thoughts known about how the pronoun police fucked over the larger LGBTQ community as our rights are backsliding in America. Yall are gonna whine about being misgendered to the concentration camp guards at the rate we’re going. God forbid I be angry that while queers were busy fighting over pronouns our adversaries stuffed the courts, stuffed the school boards, couped the government, and are installing a fascist dictatorship. When I say that these fucking toddlers are going to learn what real oppression tastes like, that’s what I mean. It’s not that I want us to be hurt or oppressed (as the dog piling idiots have interpreted), it’s that the younger generation is weak as hell and lost the fucking plot in the fight for our rights. I grew up getting beaten in the streets for being queer only for these kids to claim their pronouns not being mind-read is oppression!
TL;DR: ~~BPR~~ CSPR (charged situation-provoked reaction). OP was gatekeeping a wee bit but this was definitively not worth a permaban, at most a "chill your head!" 1d ban. OP being queer and the issue happening outside Blåhaj are also relevant.
Sorry in advance for the WORDS, WORDS, WORDS.
Also, I'm not queer. Or an instance owner. I'm open to hear about things that I got wrong. I'm judging things here because it's how this comm works.
I don't disagree with the core of what you're saying, it's sensible stuff:
100% agree with the above. But even then, check your own comment:
You're arbitrarily drawing a line and saying "up to this point, it is not an important matter. Past that point, it is". Well... this is gatekeeping! Cat shit might not be as serious of a problem as elephant shit, but both are still shit, you know?
Then there's the matter of this happening outside Blåhaj. I get why the admins there ban people for activity outside their own instance: the instance is home to extremely marginalised groups, that requires getting rid of bad faith actors (haters, chasers...) even before they set their feet there.
So for example. Let's say that I (cis, hetero) said something that can be understood as bigotry. It would be only sensible if Blahaj banned me on the spot - better safe than sorry, right?
...however that clearly does not apply to you - even if not trans you're gender-diverse. (I always check profiles before judging people.) Blahaj is supposed to be inviting to people like you. It shifts the issue from "some cis hetero got banned by mistake" to "someone who should feel safe in that instance got banned by mistake". Plus what you're saying isn't even bigoted, it's simply gatekeeping.
Based on all of that I think that some intervention from the Blahaj admins would be sensible, even if this happened outside their "turf", but they went a bit too far. [/two cents]
It’s not gatekeeping, and this narcissistic faux outrage over being “misgendered” is harmful to the LGBTQ community.
You’re not queer and you don’t understand the level of anger right now that American queers have. As someone who faced outright physical abuse chronically for being queer as a kid seeing permanently online baby queers get pissy over pronouns while we’re about to be hunted again is absolutely fucking rage inducing for good reason. These fucking piss babies need to get their shit together.
You've got a lot of "kids these days don't know how good they have it!" energy, and it's really not helping you here or anywhere.
Seriously, you're complaining about these people fighting all the wrong battles, but here you are still fighting in that exact battle? In your eyes, they're wasting their time turning on each other... but here you are screaming at them and about them? Do you think the things you are saying in this thread will prevent discrimination and violence? Do you think you're changing minds?
I understand you're rightfully pissed off about a lot of things. But you really are drawing a line in your life and saying "I struggled. They didn't. They don't have the right to question me. Which isn't necessarily true and also isn't a very productive line of reasoning.
More so I struggled with physical violence so they have the ability to see pronouns as an issue worthy of feeling “oppressed” by.
It’s just straight up disrespectful to queer elders. And yeah, they don’t know how good they have it. Our violent struggle makes their minor qualms seem major to them. It’s obvious they grew up in a time where oppression was mostly eradicated. It’s telling that the older generations don’t give a fuck about pronouns. Because we were being physically beaten in the streets.
My battle here is that this insane focus on pronouns is HARMFUL to queer people. Excluding queers for …. using they/them as a pronoun for people they don’t know is HARMFUL to queers.
You think they're disrespecting their elders and they don't know how good they have it? Do you genuinely not see a problem here? Have you ever heard someone say anything like that and thought "hmm, actually they have a point"? Especially when you don't actually know how good they've had it?