this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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This will probably be my last question here (at least for a while). My last two questions were about flirting and expressing romantic interest to someone. In short in was a mixture of: 'Flirting is important.' and 'Just be yourself.'

I want to give flirting a proper, respectable shot. I want to see if this is something I can develop and get creative with.

At the same time I'm also hearing I should just be myself and let it be natural. Well, I never flirt, ever. So if I do, it will not be natural nor count as being myself.

So, what should I do? What does it mean to be yourself, while trying to change?

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[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You are "being yourself" as long as what you do is what you want to do.

If you want to start flirting because you think you'd feel better, then it's you being yourself.

If you do it because you think peers/society/whoever wants you to be like that, you're not being yourself.

[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I think, I'm somewhere in the middle of all that. I'm fine with flirting, I'm more or less indifferent about it (I like it if she responds well to it). But if it wasn't as important as people say it is, I don't think I would do it, just to be safe.

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Safe from what?

And who says it's important?

Communication is important, but how you do that is always going to vary. "Flirting" is just one way to communicate.

[–] FatTony@lemm.ee 1 points 3 days ago

Safe from what?

Safe from making someone uncomfortable?

And who says it’s important?

According to folks over at my previous posts. (Though they also emphasised communication)