this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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Well, wait, are you assuming she's not already saying “I’ve noticed peanut M&Ms cheer you up when you’re sad, you want some?” because I have been. The thing she's been "hiding" is the concept that she's training him like a dog, which as I said in my original comment isn't true; she learned the skills from training dogs, but they are skills that offer the same love and respect you would give a human.
Her friend focused on the fact that she treats dogs and humans the same, thought that meant she was disrespectfully training her boyfriend like one might train a dog, and believed that she was hiding this secret training from her boyfriend, which is just an incorrect assessment of the situation.
So yeah, she could tell her boyfriend that she's treating him like she would a dog, which technically would be the most honest thing to say, but I think it would just lead to him forming a negative association with what is ultimately a caring act, the same way her friend sees it. It's enough to just stick to "I'm giving you candy because you're stressed" rather than "I'm giving you treats in the way that I would give a dog treats."
I am not assuming she made a plain offer.
I admit my inferences are predicated on the context that she is applying dog training but it is entirely core to the discussion. Her quote says not "some [M&Ms]", but "one". She's doling them a singlular M&M at specific instances. Again like trainers do when they're priming a reward for an animal after they perform the right action. And her self-defense is based on the idea that humans aren't that different from dogs and the boyfriend isn't aware of her actions, instead of anything normal like "he said he's glad I'm helping him" or "he's shown he's appreciative that I'm helping distract him from stress".
I'm getting the picture she's more doing "hey , here's an M&M" when she's training then anything resembling a clear mention of a helpful motive.
I suppose you could be right. I do think it'd be strange not to ask your girlfriend why she randomly gives you a singular M&M all the time.
I agree, but that whole situation is strange to me.