this post was submitted on 31 May 2025
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Throughout school I used to panic a couple days before the deadline that I had to get something done. I tried to work on the essays but didn't manage to do anything and then got a lot calmer as I told myself that I'd easily have enough time if I started the next day. Then the next day came and I panicked again, until I ran some calculations in my head that I'd be able to make it if I started in the evening. And this continued through several cycles until I went into full panic and despair 30 minutes before the deadline.
I could rarely make it on time.
Somehow the closer I got to the deadline the less time it felt like the project would take. My procrastinative brain took over and made up excuses to not have to do it yet as there was still plenty of time. I almost failed 8th grade because of that. Fucking 8th grade. And I didn't even relax while procrastinating!
Might be a good idea to get an ADHD assessment.