OK that was me telling the story by memory. I have now checked the actual story and here it is.

There are a few ways to stop pitch invasions: electric fences, a heavy police presence, or making your team so bad that no fans turn up to run on the field in the first place. But the Romanian fourth division is a rough and ready place. Back in 2003, Steaua Nicolae Balcescu had been threatened with expulsion from the league after a series of pitch invasions and clashes.

Steaua’s chairman, Alexandra Cringus, perhaps showing why the team he was running were in the fourth division rather than the first, decided the best way to stop the hooligans was by building a crocodile-infested moat around the pitch. Because if you can’t build a crocodile-infested moat around the pitch, what’s the point in being in charge of a football club, eh? “This is not a joke,” insisted Cringus. “We can get crocodiles easy enough and feed them on meat from the local abattoir. The ditch is planned to be wide enough that no one could manage to jump over it. Anyone who attempted to do so would have to deal with the crocs. I think that the problem of fans running on to the pitch will be solved once and for all.”

This wasn’t some slapdash plan, though. Cringus had had a good long think about health and safety too: he planned to build the moat far enough from the pitch that players wouldn’t accidentally tumble to their doom. He even thought of the crocs too: Romanian winters can be harsh so the water would be heated by electric pipes. You may not be surprised to discover that local authorities rejected the scheme.