this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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WomensStuff

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WomensStuff what's your advice for younger women? (piefed.blahaj.zone)
submitted 2 months ago by LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone to c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone
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What's something you wish you'd been told, or had been emphasised more?

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[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 4 points 1 month ago
  1. You do not exist for others.
  • This doesn't mean "be selfish". It means "assert yourself as well".
  1. As a corollary to the above, this means you don't have to fix someone. Indeed you don't want to fix other people. That's their job. Your job is to fix yourself.
  • Who decides what's "fixed"? You do. If you're happy with who you are and how your life is going, you're "fixed".
  1. As the Stones said: "You can't always get what you want." Live with it. Learn from it.
  2. Make plans for your life. Coasting aimlessly is neither as liberating nor as fun as it sounds.
  • Your plans won't happen, mind, so also be ready to change those plans. Do you think I planned to find myself living in China for a quarter of a century?!
  1. The most important word in the English language is the word "no". Learn it. Use it.
  2. People who think they have a right to your unpaid time and effort are not your friend. Walk away.
  • That doesn't mean don't do things for people without pay. That means you get to decide what unpaid labour you do. I gladly do things for people I love.
  1. Schedule your time. Failure to do so results in stress as you over-commit.
  • Don't forget "down time" and/or "me time" in your schedule. Your batteries need charging.
  1. Learn to cook. It saves money and doubles as a creative outlet accessible to almost everybody.
  2. Specialize. You can't be good at everything. Pick one, or if you're REALLY smart (unlike me), two things that you want to be expert in.
  • This doesn't mean learn only that specialty. It means focus on it.
  1. Unless you're ace, go ahead and be a slut. No, really. Don't "save yourself" for that "special someone". Get experience so that when you find that "special someone" you can blow their mind straight out through their souls with your wicked skills at wickedness.
  2. Never compare yourself to others for your happiness. No matter how successful you are in life, you will always be able to find someone who has it better. This is a recipe for eternal misery.
  • What you should be doing instead is comparing yourself to your past self. This is far healthier.