this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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There is no "the one", and there is no such thing as a soul mate.
If someone convinces you that they are your soul mate, and you genuinely believe it to be true... how much bad behavior would you put up with? Would you put up with insults? Passive aggressive digs? Resentment? Substance abuse? Physical abuse? What would it take for you to leave your soul mate? How bad would it have to get for you to give up "the one"? You would think that you might say, "well that person clearly isn't the one", but maybe this is just a rough patch. Sometimes things can be so good. They make you feel like there could never be a bond like yours, and after years or even a decade, it can be a hard truth to come to terms with.
If you are in a relationship, it's with another flawed human. There are people who have traits, personalities and temperaments that will be more or less compatible with you. You can think about how that relationship fits or doesn't fit in your life, what your needs are, and what behavior you will or won't tolerate. Most importantly, YOU ARE FREE TO LEAVE. If you feel relief when you are alone, and feel a sinking dread when they call or text, you do not owe that person a relationship.
And anyone who threatens suicide if you leave, or says earnestly that they cannot live without you, is not entitled to your life in return. Someone who says that is either bluffing, or just looking for an excuse. You only get so many years of life to waste on misery.