this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2025
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A prominent member of the Department of Government Efficiency was beaten in an attempted carjacking in Washington this week, prompting President Trump to renew his threat of a federal takeover of the city.

The victim was Edward Coristine, a 19-year-old software engineer known by his online sobriquet, Big Balls, according to the police, who said he was surrounded and attacked by 10 young assailants outside his car.

In a social media post on Tuesday afternoon, Mr. Trump shared a photograph that appeared to show Mr. Coristine lying in the street bleeding, battered and shirtless, writing that crime in the nation’s capital was “totally out of control,” though the city’s crime rates have been falling.

“If D.C. doesn’t get its act together, and quickly, we will have no choice but to take Federal control of the City,” he said.

Police officers arrested two 15-year-old suspects, a boy and a girl, both from Maryland, at the scene, according to authorities. Officials said the episode happened in the early morning hours on Sunday in an upscale neighborhood less than two miles from the White House. The two teenagers were charged with unarmed carjacking. The police said they were seeking additional suspects.

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[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 180 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I love the idea that a bunch of high school freshman beat the shit out of this loser. Really gives me hope for the next generation.

[–] AcidiclyBasicGlitch@sh.itjust.works 79 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Teenagers kicking the ass of an adult that betrayed the U.S. and famously goes by "Big Balls?"

That's a federal takeover.

[–] womjunru@lemmy.cafe 17 points 1 week ago

Big balls is nineTEEN

[–] Zaktor@sopuli.xyz 56 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What are the odds that the "10" number is just Big Balls trying to make the assault sound less pathetic.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago

We all know that a DOGE employee would never inflate numbers…

[–] Carmakazi@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Allegedly it was a bunch of punks who were looking for someone to carjack and it wasn't politically motivated.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

In your alleged opinion.

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Or they found a bunch of kids they could easily pay to stage a carjacking to achieve a goal they wanted.

It's not like paying someone to commit a crime you want done is a new concept, or even complicated. Just got to find someone desperate for cash and willing to take the fall and keep quiet. Given the economy right now, that's gonna be quite a few people.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

How long before we find out he was just harrassing kids and got wedgied?

[–] KingGordon@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Big balls is a punk-ass bitch. Got beaten up by some 15 year olds. Lmfao

[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Not defending him, but some 15 year olds are absolutely massive. Even if they aren't, I'd like to see you fight off 2+

[–] KingGordon@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I dont walk around calling myself big balls, either.

[–] 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You haven't dismantled American welfare either

[–] KingGordon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Oh yeah. Its true that I havent dismantled basic fundamental democratic rights recently. I forgot about that.

[–] LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 week ago

I imagine it went down something like this: https://youtu.be/WVxz2j4_skI

CW: homophobic slurs