tl;dr - cannabis is an important pillar of my life. the same is true for many millions of other people. and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
it hit me while masturbating in the shower, i'm never going to be completely sober. i need drugs to function as a member of society. and that's alright with me.
i also know, more importantly, that there are millions of other people like me all over the planet. most of us just hide to survive.
edit:
i only smoke concentrated cannabis. sativa strains preferably.
i don't consume any other drugs. i used to. but not anymore.
i used to regularly consume alcohol, caffeine, LSD, MDMA, shrooms, cocaine and salvia divinorum. nothing like the DMT and designer psychedelics of today.
i feel fortunate to have lived through my own experience of drug culture and walked out the other side.
I had this exact, acute thought as I was going up the sweaty people filled stairs into a rave hall.
"What the hell am I doing" and also: "Would I do this if I were 53?"
I looked down at my hard abs and skin-tight shirt and had a bit of a Zen moment, thinking: "Youth is wasted on the young. You're young. Enjoy this opportunity."
I was 21, I danced and partied my heart out that night and I regret nothing.