From May to November, I would match with a total of 60 men across a wide conservative spectrum — self-proclaimed MAGA bros, ‘European’ guys looking for their submissive ‘European’ dream girls, white supremacists, conspiracy theorists — although most identified in some way with the alt-right. I’d scour profiles in an effort to figure out where these men were coming from, why they seemed to oppose the things I’d previously spent a career fighting for: women’s rights, social justice, reproductive freedoms, LGBTQIA+ equality. I tried to imagine that maybe we weren’t so different, maybe there was some chaotic internet-age misunderstanding at play.
And maybe I could answer another big question, one that seemed intimidatingly complex: as politics in the US (and beyond) grows more divisive, as the internet fuels hard-line cultural ideologies and social discord, as like-minded communities double down on rejecting anything different, is it possible for romantic connections between contrasting groups to even exist? Could dating be a way to help forge an understanding — of value systems, of experiences that drive beliefs — that could start to bridge the dissonance? Or at the very least, could it teach me about my own rules of attraction? Could I ever be physically enticed by (or even intimate with) someone with very different political views?
Not sure whether it matters, but Guy 3 and Guy 1 are the same Guy, who also sent death threats to the author years ago. Dude needs some serious help.