(From Colbert last night.)
this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2024
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Elvis had four-month-old compacted feces upon his death. I wonder how old the stool inside the oompa loompa king is right now. He could be carrying nuggets from the filming of Home Alone 2.
How.. how do they know.
Did they open him up, saw those very-old-looking stools and said "we have to radio carbon that shit!"?
Just cut it up and count the rings
it always comes back to the poop knife
"Look, corn! Last time I saw him eat corn was four months ago!"
"Just write it down, Brian. I want to sew this motherfucker shut."
Eat more fiber people.
Also don't do opioids, they can stop the movement of anything in the intestines. No amount of fibre would help Elvis.
As a son of a junkie I will agree to that.
Eat more fiber, drink more water, and avoid opioids.
Yep. Stuff just stops flowing.
It's why they will give people a laxative to take along with their (short term) opioid prescription.
There are fibre people!? 😱
Not anymore. We ate them.
They're called vegetarians
You might be surprised at two things that I speak of from personal experience:
Yeah easy if you just eat bread and cheese you be a fatty
And drink water. Fiber alone and you'll get a blockage
Absolutely, ice water is the only true gamer beverage.
He's allegedly incontinent and stuffed to the gills with stimulants so he's probably emptying his bowels as soon as something hits his stomach
New favorite way for this man to go out.
Wow, I had no idea. The drugs he was taking were really messing him up for sure, this sort of thing can happen to those who take pills for recreational uses. I thought it was smoked heroin honestly.
Yeah, being serious, I've actually known people who were addicted to heroin who were always constipated. It would be super hard for them to have a BM, and when they did manage to pass stool, it would plug up the toilet beyond belief. It can be a real serious issue.
He's got Buzz's girlfriend in there. Woof!