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Welcome! I hear ya', really...
There's a lot of us around here who can relate, to be honest, so you're in the right place. I don't know what I could say to lessen your loneliness, as I can barely figure mine out, but posting here every now and again has helped me in that regard.
Keep posting, let it all out. Really. If nothing else, I promise you you will be seen by a lot of kind souls. And I'm sure others have a lot more pertinent things to add than I do.
Tysm that means a lot
You're very welcome! We gotta stick together as much as possible, even if just as text on a screen!
You're not alone, it's just that we're all separate by invisible barriers, sometimes natural, like time and space, but not of them artificial, like money and walls and institutions and jobs.
We were never meant to live this isolated, none of us. Humankind has always been a community effort, and today our loneliness is a tool for our predators. It might not be a cheerful thing to read, but to me, knowing that this loneliness is a shackle to hold our power, from people that KNOW and fear we are always one step from realizing what is being taken from us, fills me with determination and a twisted sense of pride. At the very least, it makes the feeling of being completely responsible for my sadness go away
You’re right
The nightmares are not a good time, nope. Focus less on their content. Your brain does weird things when you're asleep. Try to look into your waking life for answers. For me they're a sign of anxiety and that I need to address something.
I agree, dreams seem to be the subconscious' way of trying to process emotionally charged situations from your waking life. But not having language, it can only process things through visual/narrative metaphors.
May also help if you try to discuss your dreams, maybe some fresh eyes can offer new perspectives!
Even if I could find the language to describe them, which is frustratingly insufficient, I mostly would prefer not to verbalize details. I have found more comfort in focusing on the feelings they elicit. No one can see those dreams, and I'm glad for it.
It's like how your left and right brain are like two different personalities. One lacks language, so it it expresses itself through imagery. The symbols aren't as important as the message: I'm scared.
Fair enough, I'm sorry they are visceral enough to give you pause...
In my case, I've found that focusing on specific metaphors has also helped me narrow down specific stressors from my waking life, kinda' like adding more nuance to said overall feelings. But we even dream in different ways from one person to the next, so...
Exactly like that, maybe I can lean into the metaphors more because I've always been artistically inclined, so I tend to think a lot in abstracts. Thank you for this rabbit hole (seriously)!
And I can certainly relate to that sentiment... I'm feeling claustrophobic for the first time in my life and it's entirely related to the state of the world...