I'm too sick to shower. I haven't washed myself in months.
It sucks. I stink. OOPs friends are too polite.
this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2025
251 points (96.7% liked)
Greentext
5210 readers
778 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
"people say I smell like nothing now"
Fake: Anon knows what the shower is.
Gay: Half of the post is about male skin kink.
My brother said something similar "I never shampoo and my hair doesn't stink".
My wife and I informed him that his hair stank, and that we had to launder the pillowcase immediately after he stayed over because it stank up the room and adjacent hallway the day after.
OP got used to his BO, I promise you the people around him know he does not use soap.
I have also not shampooed my hair for an extended period, and you do have to rinse it when you shower. I would put soap on the ends every so often and I had to rinse it with baking soda a few times to remove cooking odors (onions mostly).
No one ever complained about a smell, but people tend not to say things like that.
Technically (🤓), you don't have to wash your hair because it's dead. The scalp is where the sweat, oils, and skin cells build up and where the bad odours would be coming from. And most people on average aren't really close enough to someone (especially a tall someone) to smell their scalp.
Personally, I tried the whole no shampoo thing, and it was agony. The roots of my hair hurt from the build-up if I don't wash them once week, only rinsing with water does nothing. Human bodies are weird.
You don't need to shampoo your hair of course. Nature never provided us with a shampoo but you'll have nicer hair if you do.
It's the same for bathing obviously you don't have to do it, in the past everyone just spelled really bad. Not bathing isn't some magical cure for warts, and it absolutely is necessary for common decency's sake.
in the past everyone just spelled really bad
Lol, the fact that you spelled smelled as spelled made me smile.
But yea. It was just a fact of life. People lived in the countryside isolated and surrounded by animals so it smelled bad anyway. Even when people first started living in cities there wasn't any proper sanitation at first so you were constantly surrounded by the smell of your own and everyone else's shit.
I have to disagree about the nicer hair. Once the oils in my hair balanced out, my hair was great. It was greasy for about a week and then it just took care of itself.
Nature
Ever visit a zoo and notice any smells, e.g. in the ape house? That’s a part of nature, of course.
It’s just we’re trying to avoid that.
I think we need to clarify things a bit here. "Clean hair" and "Shampoo'd hair" aren't the same things.
Everyone should clean their hair. Most people use shampoo for that, but it's not good for all hair types. Curly hair usually suffers with shampoo use.
I shower daily, and I can't spell for shit
Different people have different skin, oils, water supplies and diets.
Everyone needs to clean themselves regularly, but the exact details of what that means varies by circumstances.
Most people are fine with shampoo, a gentle soap, and warm water.
As long as you're getting rid of old dead skin, excess oils and any grime you're fine though. Soaps make that easier, but they're not a requirement.
I'm prone to dry skin and greasy hair, so I use a shampoo, cool water and a scrub brush instead of soap for my body. Perfectly clean, just need to scrub a little longer to make sure I get everything.
people say I smell like nothing now
probably because it's instantly destroying any scent receptors permanently
Kinda like H2S, I guess. You can sense its putrid smell it in the range of 0.47 ppb to 100 ppm, then your olfactory nerve becomes paralyzed. Just when you think the gas is gone, there's a 50% chance of you dying at 800 ppm. Years ago, I read about a "mysterious deaths" case in which H2S was the main suspect because of this stealthy property.
As someone who doesn't use shampoo and has hair which has re-adapted to not having the natural oils stripped out, and doesn't use soap for the same reason, I am confident to say:
** Showers are a good thing. **
Just don't blast your skin with steaming hot water and your skins microbiome and keratin glands will adapt. Being "100% clean" will lead to sweat which stinks because of the heat-resistant bacteria which flourishes (thanks to a less diverse microbiome) and produces bad odour after digesting your sweat.
Sweat itself doesn't have a smell, it's why you don't stink the moment you start sweating.
What OP is doing here is fabricating a satirical story based on these principles.
As someone who doesn't use shampoo and has hair which has re-adapted to not having the natural oils stripped out
That's very likely not a thing. The natural oil production (sebum) is primarily influenced by genetics and hormones.
Some people experience less oiliness over time, but this is likely due to changes in distribution, absorption, and perception, rather than a true shift in sebum gland function.
Frequent washing with harsh shampoos can temporarily increase oiliness due to compensatory production.
However, studies suggest this is a short-term effect rather than a long-term change in sebum gland activity.
** Showers are a good thing. **
Absolutely, using shampoo or not, proper scalp hygiene is important, too much sebum creates bacteria friendly environments, which can lead to infections.
As you said, the increase in oiliness is compounded upon daily use of shampoo. Using it frequently will eventually strip all of the oils out (if you've got long hair - People with shorter hair shouldn't have an issue).
There are certainly times where I use it, but it's very rare, it normally fucks my shit up for a good week.
As you said, the increase in oiliness is compounded upon daily use of shampoo
As a short term effect, not a long term change in sebum production, the sebum glands are most likely primarily genetically and hormonally controlled.
I also said
Some people experience less oiliness over time, but this is likely due to changes in distribution, absorption, and perception, rather than a true shift in sebum gland function.
Using it frequently will eventually strip all of the oils out (if you've got long hair - People with shorter hair shouldn't have an issue).
I know what you're saying, but it could be interpreted as that the glands on your scalp just stop producing altogether, which is not true and if it happens likely presents a serious medical issue.
I briefly touched on the distribution of oil in your hair - if you brush long hair thoroughly and frequently you distribute the oil from the glands to the tips, which gives the perception of less oilier hair and is in fact, very healthy. Oil in short hairs obviously distributes faster and more easily from the glands to the tips, so a more frequent use of shampoo doesn't impact healthy hair as much.
Like I said, proper scalp hygiene can accommodate a wide range of hair washing habits. But if you forego that you'll get nasty issues.
Edits: formatting
Didn't mean to imply any impairment in sebum production, other than the increase to accommodate for the dryness. (Which can result in overly oily hair when you stop shampooing, which is a feedback loop your wallet really doesn't need to accommodate for).
For what its worth, my haircare routine consists entirely of warm water and a bit of a scrub.
People are genuinely amazed when I tell them I don't use shampoo or conditioner lol.
You will not take away my hot showers liberals, grrr
Hot showers are bourgeoisie propaganda, designed to keep the working class in a perpetual cycle of stank.
Think about it, the sales of hygiene products fuel our economies, they have us played for absolute fools.
Our hot showers come at the cost of energy, normally coal, which makes climate change worse, making us hotter, and more sweaty, leading to more hot showers.
Ten thousand years ago, our ancestors had no class divide, no climate change, and no hot showers.
Surely you see now that our only option is to rise up, and together, say "fuck this shit" and kill billionaires and stop taking hot showers.
And if you keep taking hot showers then you're enabling the fascist techno crypto oligarchy patriarchy.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a lukewarm shower to attend.
Wow you sound like a certain instance that shal go unamed
I know lol, I'm just playing along.
You may not smell bad immediately after going to the gym, but if you leave your sweaty gym clothes in the bag to ferment overnight, they're gonna smell like a dehydrated cat pissed in your bag.
Thats why I do my exercises in the nude.
As nature intended
load more comments
(8 replies)
Blatantly fake. Smells fishy.
soap tax
bro
If this worked, there's a ton of stinky people in my past who don't make sense.
Apparently they must have showered intermittently just enough to lose the benefit
This guy is ripe.
(Unfortunately) relevant. The most nsfw, you’ve been warned.
i suspected that this image would pop up below that post. i'm not looking at that again lol
What in the fuck is this
(Reposting)
It’s a metaphor for the diabolical nonsense people constantly post on 4chan. Anon is either deluded (less likely) or attempting to lure others into unhealthy lifestyle decisions for fun. The main character is a robot, a la r9k, and the only ones cheering are other odd misfits. The women are, on the other hand, human shaped, once again reinforcing the gulf in humanity between the members of the board and those outside of it. Much of 4chan is poopie rapie.
With that said, yes, absolutely, I agree
what in the fuck
Dafuq
... What?
poopie rapie!
No. Absolutely not, no. Not even ironically.
I hate this so much
view more: next ›