We get it. You're angry. You're fed up. You’re tired of living in a country that treats your kids like target practice and your rights like clearance rack merchandise. You’re watching the rich hoard everything, the cops play soldier, and your leaders use Bible verses as toilet paper after shitting on the Constitution. You’re watching billionaires jack off to stock market graphs while your rent goes up and your hope goes down. And this weekend, you’re going to do something about it. Good. Do it. But for fuck’s sake, do it smart.
Because you’re not just fighting the system anymore. You’re fighting the algorithm, the surveillance state, the riot gear cosplay police, and a nation so jacked up on Mountain Dew, meth, and misinformation that they’ll kneecap your civil liberties while waving a flag they barely understand.
Here’s your PEACEFUL PROTEST CHECKLIST, straight from your sane, polite, maple-scented northern neighbors who know a little something about surviving a dysfunctional empire’s shadow.
BEFORE YOU GO:
– Tell someone where you’re going and when you’ll check in
– Full phone charge, backup charger, and no, a cracked screen doesn’t make you invincible
– Comfortable shoes. Closed toe. You’re walking, not modeling.
– Dress in layers, no flashy logos unless you want to be easy to track
– Mask up: not just for germs, but because cops have facial recognition and zero chill
– Bring a sign if you want. Just don’t bring one so big you can’t drop it and run
PHONE SAFETY:
– Use a passcode, not your face
– Airplane mode = peace of mind when you’re not filming
– Location OFF
– Back that phone up like your dignity depends on it
– Do not livestream unless you know what you’re doing. You're not Spielberg.
MENTAL PREP:
– Breathe. Not because yoga’s going to stop a flashbang, but because panic gets you arrested faster than rage
– Know why you’re there. And no, “for the vibes” isn’t enough
– Stay chill. The guy frothing at the mouth next to you is probably a fed
DURING THE PROTEST:
– Stay with your crew
– Know your exits
– Don’t talk to provocateurs. Don’t film them. Don’t fucking engage
– If you’re filming, you better be documenting—not clout-chasing
IF YOU ARE UNDOCUMENTED OR A NON-CITIZEN: Do. Not. Go. This is America. They will deport your ass for sneezing sideways. Allow the citizens to fight this round. You fight by surviving.
And listen, Americans: no amount of TikToks, hashtags, or lukewarm presidential statements are going to fix this. You are. But only if you show up like you mean it—and not like lambs to a livestream slaughter.
Because you’re not just marching for justice. You’re marching for your lives. And we’re watching. We’re rooting. We’re hoping you don’t fuck it up.
Love, Canada
(P.S. Bring water. Not Pepsi. Unless you think you can bribe riot cops with carbonated sugar water and privilege. Spoiler: you can’t. Stay hydrated, not delusional.)
Originally Posted By u/CannaB-Ber At 2025-04-04 01:19:49 PM | Source