Anyone who spends more on a watch than a car has poor money management. Fuck, what a waste. There's no way any watch is worth more than $1000 other than for clout which is stupid.

Last time I gave a fuck was when I were with your wife

I mean it's one car, Alec. What could it cost? Ten dollars?

The classic "OK boomer" still gets them angry, if that's what you're after

"Interesting, may I see?" And when they hold their wrist up to you, inspect it closely, then lick it, make some faces like a wine connoisseur, shake your head and say :"It's fake" turn around and disengage.

"I don't have a car"

Heh, amateur hour. Let me show you my watch.

"Ok?"

Serious answer:

That's cool. What makes it special?

Sometimes people talk about how expensive something they own is simply because they're proud that they could afford it and even when they're being tone-deaf, there's no benefit to getting offended when you could just move the conversation along instead. (Although you might have to listen to them talk about watches.) If they were trying to brag, now they're stuck trying to explain why the watch is actually worth what they paid and you're the one judging them.

Cars (and watches) aren't so expensive that a middle-class person can't plausibly already own the one he would buy even if money was unlimited. You can act like that's true about you. My status-conscious former mother in law was bothered by the fact that I owned an old car, but when she would bring it up I would just say "I really like the 2008 model." She couldn't argue with that.

Sounds like you got ripped off

If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you've already lost.

All these comments are trying too hard. The only two options are "OK?" and "that watch?"

Verbose disses only work in rap

"Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"

You see this? This is called a "smart phone." Not only will this tell me the time like your watch, but it can also do a bunch of other things. I can look at pictures of raccoons wearing silly hats or I can use it to insult someone on the other side of the planet. It also cost a fraction of what your watch cost. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think it should go and get your money back. It sounds like you've been scammed. As a matter of fact, let me give you my friend's phone number. He's an accountant, and I think he'll be able to help stop you from making stupid purchases in the future.

"So?"

That's the response you want. Complete andutter boredom. You don't care. Their entire personality is built around a weird little status structure and if you don't buy into their hallucination they lose their everloving minds

Does 0 to 60 in ONE minute! It's garbage.

"that's a lot of money for such an ugly watch."

And it tells the same time as a $5 Casio, but it's heavy and gaudy. I guess money can't buy taste.

“Ok”

"I don't have the habit of looking at other people's watches. Thanks for pointing it out, I guess, I might have otherwise missed that detail entirely."

(Biz-bro mind cannot comprehend this)

The statement is to set them apart from from you and to display power. So you could go with something like,

"Shit, they still make you buy your uniform when you rich eh. Some things never change."

But more elegantly. Reassert that they are subject to others' power/approval and relate to them to assert that they're no different from you.

"People with true value don’t need trinkets to convince others of their worth."

"Not everybody knows how to make the best use of their resources."

"Unless it has a button that stops time, you paid too much."

What kind of dumbass would spend that much on a watch?

Why the fuck would I drive a watch ?

"How fast does it do 0-60?"

See this casio watch? Still more accurate than whatever the fuck watch you have

"Wow, you're really shit at bargaining. They really took you for a ride!"

Look of confusion "Does...does that make you happy?"

-or-

"Was it worth it?"

You paid that much for a watch that looks like you steal from your grandad?

A classic that always makes people like this angry is the good ole, "Anyways, [Something you are casually going to do today or did yesterday]- " and a hand wave to dismiss the statement.

It infuriates them lol

"what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that"

"one more time?"

"ok. thanks for letting me know."