this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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(page 4) 50 comments
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[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago

"what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that"

"one more time?"

"ok. thanks for letting me know."

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago

"It's certainly a nice looking piece of jewelry"

[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

"It's not my fault you're stupid"

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

laughs gently and sighs

"This is a six ounce cup of bath water from a YouTube influencer..."

[–] Gorge@lemm.ee 16 points 1 week ago

"Nice, but I kinda prefer the newer model from the spring catalogue. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark."

[–] count_dongulus@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Sorry I'm not into bracelets

[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

"So, you're both rich and stupid"

[–] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

“Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden”

[–] AlphaOmega@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

Yeah, but can your watch drive you to the store ?

[–] match@pawb.social 12 points 1 week ago

"I wouldn't want to paint a target on my back like that. Did you hear about Chesterwick's son getting kidnapped while backpacking in Burma?"

[–] sad_detective_man@leminal.space 12 points 1 week ago (4 children)

get really really enthusiastically interested in the watch. ask for details seem super impressed. massage that wealthy ego to the point of basically a blow job. but then just like keep going. see how long you can keep the topic on that one specific watch. don't ever let him talk about anything that the watch means or about the dynamic he tried to establish.

optionally, loose interest and leave without ever having let anything be said that wasn't about the watch. this is how you weaponize autism against egotists.

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[–] bluesheep@lemm.ee 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Man, it is a shame you can't buy class because you could use some.

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[–] Sergio@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

I think the really wealthy old-money people would never say such a thing. Because such a thing just wouldn't occur to them. And if someone said that to them, they'd just kind of smile and nod the same way they would to a toddler. Maybe say "Ah, yes, very good." So that's probably the best response.

But if I were writing a screenplay and had to come up with a one-liner I'd probably go with, "Just goes to show you can't buy class."

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 week ago

"I don't get my happiness from material worth."

[–] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

“What kinda mileage does it get?”

“Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

“Can you get me some more water?”

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[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 10 points 1 week ago

"Cool story bro. Needs more dragons."

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"mine was 5 bucks at goodwill, sounds like you got scammed, sorry"

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

I'd just start laughing and point at them.

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

good, maybe you can sell it to buy some human decency then

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"that's so sad"

But realistically probably nothing, someone like that isn't going to care enough about what you think to be affected by what you say.

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[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

That's quiet an expensive way to look cheap

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

"and yet your dad still don't love you."

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I have friends.

And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.

[–] knight_alva@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

So you are fiscally irresponsible and you are proud of it? Good to know…

[–] hansolo@lemm.ee 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Yes, your fancy jewelry is very pretty. Good job."

Edit: after I stopped laughing, of course.

I wouldn't even hide that watch up my ass.

[–] doug@lemmy.today 8 points 1 week ago

“I don’t mean to victim blame, but I try not to look like I’m worth mugging.”

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

don't. make a "oh poor guy" face and move on. he wants you to engage, to be angry, if you don't he will be mad

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[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago

"What's your point?"

[–] Leonixster@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago

A lot of replies here still wander into sounding mad imo Instead, I would fake not getting the insult and just make them uncomfortable by saying something like "Wow that's cool :D" and then just move on. Sort of like when you acknowledge a child doing something dumb but they're so proud of it you don't want to ruin it for them.

[–] Arigion@feddit.org 7 points 1 week ago

I can afford not to have a watch.

[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 week ago

What is it for?

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