You're gonna need a bigger knife
this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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This post is truly glorious, this should be the founding exhibit of the museum of Lemmy.
I am truly grateful to witness this moment.
In case OP is still with us, my advice would be anti diarrhoea medication, consume minimum liquids, avoid fibre, pack MREs which are often formulated to be a bit constipating. But above all, question why on earth you would be doing this in the first place!
OP, the answer is obviously to starve yourself and use a buttplug
You're going to end up needing a knife...
I didn't see this answer, so sorry if it's been said, but just don't eat. It's three days, after all. Incidentally I've read that if you ate solely what your body needed to survive, it would take 20-40 days to even build up enough waste to have to poop.
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I have a friend who was in the army and said they had to do 100+km training hikes. No one wanted to have to stop to poo so the first thing they did, before even starting, was to eat the block of cheese from their ration packs. They called it plug cheese.
Eat a full MRE the day before. Good luck ever pooping again.
Op is gonna meet their stinky penpal in person and wants to save a special gift for when they get together, how romantic ๐
If you don't wanna partake in illegals ie opioids, you can give immodium a shot. It's anti diarrhea stuff. Just take more than it says lol it will def stop you up. I would also just eat bare minimum. Trail mix or smth. Also drink less water.
I used to take immodium for multi-day concerts where I expected to be drinking a lot of beer. Last time I did so, it worked so well that I didn't shit for two weeks and stopped being able to sleep. Had to get to the doctor for a powerful laxative cocktail that really messed up my guts for another two weeks during which I still could barely sleep for different reasons. I'm not getting that month back.
Dude, I know you can't say why, but I sincerely hope you come back after your...excursion? And update us all with the results. And may e tell us why when you have the chance.
Just coming in here and saying you can't shit for 3 days. What on earth is this.
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This post is gold. To parrot a couple others, anti-diarrhea medicine always locks me up for a day or two
It's called a low residue diet https://badgut.org/information-centre/health-nutrition/low-residue-diet/
This is the most upvotes I have seen on Lemmy so far! We gotta get this over 1k at least!
Just don't eat anything. For three days you should be fine. If your stomach hurts just drink water.
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Honestly, the edits didnโt clarify much. Iโm nearly as confused by this whole situation as I was the first time I read the post
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Give birth right before your trip
You could try surviving on Soylent or an equivalent. It's the nutrients you need to stay alive and operating normally stripped down to the bare minimum (so less material for you to have to poop). It might be diluted in water but that could be minimised and that small amount would probably leave you though sweat/breath anyway.
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what the fuck. i need an update post
this is it. this is the critical point of quality the fediverse needed
Just tell us the reason.
I wonder how he will behave as soon as the first thing the date does in the tent is, unceremoniously, going for a poop.
Are you planning to film one of those "shipping myself in a box" videos? ๐ญ