Asklemmy

Such an oddly terrifying post.

Just wanted to say I was here for this.

Okay but why?

Truly an amazing post that needs a follow-up. We wait eagerly for the results of this journey. You crazy motherfucker lmfao

The important first step is preparation. You need to clean the pipes. There should be nothing left inside you before you commence on the trip. So take some laxatives and do some cleaning. After you’re thoroughly pristine you must only consume a clear liquid diet, so clear juices and soft drinks (make sure you consume the full sugar version because that’s how you’ll get your energy). Take a multivitamin each day. On the second or third day take an Imodium, this is likely overkill but you won’t poop. Return to a normal diet on the third day but do so gradually over the course of a day or two. I cannot guarantee that this method will not damage your health and the risk will likely be greater if you have other health conditions, but you wont poop sooo.

One of the more interesting posts I've seen here

Commemorative comment for the start of Lemmy lore.

hold it in

For limited opportunities to pee, I'd carry a good sized bottle and limit drinking to sipping water/an electrolyte beverage through a straw.

For limiting poop, I'd try to be empty ahead of time, and just take something solid like bread and cheese which means you probably could go through three days without pooping.

Just use the MRE's you've no doubt been issued for beast week and stop complaining. Also hide your phone trainee, the MTI's are coming.

Do you need energy? So there's something called the pineapple diet (please ask your doctor first) where you eat pineapple for three days to lose weight. Biggest problem here is the spam, so I guess you'd have to use some sort of food that can be rehydrated like soylent.

This is amazing.

Cheese.

Would love an update haha

hahah ok this is good content

It's okay.

I'll poop for your share too, friend.