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I had a horrible childhood, so I learned how to constantly assess other people's emotions. It's a massive strength, it helps me help others but also protects me. It gives me strength cos I know I'm really good at it.
It made me really resilient, I survive everything. No matter what happens I come out ok. I know that, and it gives me strength
It also made me funny which can be useful for defusing situations, helping distract people and helping groups bond.
Something similar for me but opposite, childhood trauma gave me anxiety over others' emotions, even positive, strong emotions make me anxious.
What makes me strong is that I can change. I can learn to make space for my and others' feelings, and we can process them. Even my anxiety is just a feeling that doesn't control me; I decide what to do.
That's a great way of looking at it
Watching my mom honestly. I saw how much of herself she lost raising me and dealing with my father. I watched her give up so much for family that could care less, and I watch her do it today. It's made me careful about who I form connections with and had made me want to be self sufficient above all else.
That's sensible. Not everyone deserves our friendship, and being self sufficient is a good thing. You turned out great
I was lucky enough to grow up in an environment that did neither explicitly nor implicitly teach that there are things women are supposed to be good at or bad at. There are a lot of women in my extended family who pursued careers in STEM and even some in male dominated fields like car mechanics. Others have "traditional" women's jobs like hairdresser or teacher. It was never discussed, it was normal for me.
I think the first time I heard that women are supposedly bad at maths, was sometime in elementary school, when it was already my favourite subject.
It made me quite resilient to these kinds of internalised stereotypes.
I was rendered mathematically declined by teachers who had internalized "girls are bad at math". If a boy struggled in a math class he got support and aid from the teachers. If a girl struggled in the same math class there was this casual dismissal "it's too much for your pretty head". (Not vocalized in those words, but still clear nonetheless.)
By the time I had a math teacher who didn't treat things this way, I hated maths. I can learn them when I need them for something, but I will never enjoy the process.
nothing, I’m weak asf
It's ok you've got your sisters here to hold you up
awww :3
I thought Edmonton was my home. All my conscious life I was in Edmonton. (I'd actually moved there from Germany at the age of 18 months but of course have no memory of this.)
Then in 1975 I had all that torn away. The tender roots I'd been forming, ripped out of me. I spent the next decade or so of my life bouncing around both inside and outside of Canada.
I have no hometown now. Nowhere that I can return to. My family is scattered across three continents and I hardly ever see any of them.
That's the bad side.
The good side is that I'm very independent. Kidnap me and drop me off blind-folded anywhere in the world and I'll make a place for myself.
Now that's a true strength!
I'm probably gonna have to go with the reason my mom gave me the nickname "little lawyer" as a kid. My dad was awful. Did a lot of things I don't care to talk about. He was a very angry person, and as a result I learned some very strong conflict resolution skills. On top of that, as an autistic, I have a very strong obsession with making sure everything's fair. I noticed he wasn't treating me or my mom fairly (understatement of the year) and managed to negotiate better conditions by pointing out when he wasn't following his own rules, or was inconsistently enforcing the rules.
Granted, an abusive person is gonna be abusive regardless of the rules, but my dad specifically used the rules he set as a tool to control, so breaking them in half in ways he didn't like meant he had less control. He would especially use the bible as his biggest tool, interpreting it in whatever way most benefited him, and I would find holes in his interpretation and propose different interpretations.
I do want to note, my dad has received a lot of help since my childhood and made strides to being a better person, especially after seeing my mom, me, and my older sibling leave him. I've talked to him pretty recently and he does genuinely seem to have improved a lot, but I'm staying wary.
Nowadays people come to me for all kinds of things of the nature of resolving disputes, and even I often have people come to me to help resolve relationship troubles (from "me and my partner had a disagreement" to "I think I'm being emotionally abused and don't know how to handle it.") Although I have a bad habit of doing that even when I'm not asked, which people often get pissed at me for quite often. I'm working on that.
Children are seen as witnesses in domestic abuse but they're so much more. They do so much to protect themselves and others and you're a strong example. You worked that situation really well to keep everyone safe, and it's made you highly skilled. You're inspirational
Honestly, it makes my day to hear that. Thanks. I don't always like to think anything good could possibly have come from living through that, but it's also good to know I'm not completely broken as a result.
I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true, you earned the words 🥰
Ah, and I just remembered something I wanted to add on. One thing my dad did do right when I was a kid is he refused to enforce traditional gender roles. I'm trans and in spite of him not supporting that specifically, he did let me have a doll house, have my hair long, let me try makeup, etc. Because of that once I grew up, I found myself mystified when I realized that gender roles were even a thing, and wondered why anything had to be gender specific in the first place.
I'm an introvert and was a very shy child. I was constantly forced to interact with people in very uncomfortable situations. While I'm still an introvert, I'm now self-confident and comfortable engaging with people in most social situations.
I realized that nobody will protect me but myself
And here you are doing it! You're amazing 👏