her names dodo, and she's fat babby
If your cat is fat, it's likely your fault.
this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2025
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You never met a cat, eh?
If a healthy pet is fat, it's the owners fault. Their owners control their food, assuming that the pet doesn't have a condition, the owner has control over their pets weight. Speaking as someone who's owned many dogs and cats, most healthy, some not.
Firstly, unlike dogs, cats don't have owners. They have servants. Secondly, unlike dogs,they usually do whatever they want to.
update: this is her as I am typing this
Me all the time talking to my cat:
"Girl you are fat as fuck... ... ... It's ok. Me too."
We're both working on it.
"girl you gotta lose some weight or one of these days when you pounce on my crotch from on top of the bookcase I'm gonna rupture"
I've got three little vicious bastards and one very large one. The 3am rip ass through the house and across my body is not the fun part of having these boys. Many times straight to the crotch.
A few years ago I had small unexplained tender bruises on my chest and arms that would not heal for several months, long enough that I was beginning to get a little concerned (is it cancer?).
One night I was lying awake at 3am when one of my cats chased the other into my bedroom and onto my bed. 4 paws came flying onto me, perfectly landing on each tender bruise before launching back off of me, then the other cat landed on me with his paws in the same spots before jumping off in chase of his furry friend.
Mystery solved, and that's how I figured out just how heavy of a sleeper I am. My cats had been using my sleeping body as a launchpad for months and I was none the wiser until I happened to be awake.
I thought I was a heavy sleeper. I once slept through a mild hurricane but you're on another level.
My partner at the time also witnessed both cats having a cat fight on top of me while I was asleep and said I never stirred. He also once found one of the cats sitting on my chest, slapping me repeatedly across the face and crying little distressed meows, unable to wake me. Now that I'm single I'm still a heavy sleeper, but I wake up if the cats call for me. I've also had a couple people throughout my life tell me that I'm such a still and quiet sleeper that they had to check my pulse because they couldn't tell if I was breathing and they started to get scared.
Yeah I feel you for sure. It takes a lot to drop me but once I'm down, I'm down for the count. My ex said she had to check for breathing often. It's just really deep sleep. I'm curious, do you start dreaming the moment you fall asleep? I'm automatically in REM sleep apparently.
So I take hours to fall asleep if I'm on a day shift schedule (I can go to bed at 9 or 10 and still be awake come 4 or 5 am) but when I work night shift and go to bed at 8 or 9 am I'm asleep within 15-30 minutes. I don't usually dream that often, it seems to correspond more with my mental health. If I'm going through it I dream more. I think it's both an escape mechanism and my brain's way of processing things. Normally I don't notice I start dreaming right away when I am in a full night's sleep, but I've definitely hit the 5 minute snooze on my alarm, fallen back asleep, and had an entire intricate dream before the alarm woke me up 5 minutes later. I can also get incredibly amazing 3 minute long power naps and go from being dead on my feet to completely refreshed and ready to go for hours. No surprise, my sleep schedule is fucked. I work nights and go to school days and sometimes go 24-40 hours without getting sleep and actually function pretty well.
You know what, I get random paw sized bruises on my arms and I think you just solved that mystery
Often people seem uneasy when they walk past me in public. I'm tall, bald, bearded and all that. I wish they knew as soon as I get home I'm all like "Where's that kitty bacon? Where is it? There it is! Jiggle jiggle jiggle! Yeah you like that, don't you? Who's my little fatass?".
Pshh I assure my boy 10 times a day he's not fat, he's just fluffy
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