Mental Health

First of all: Oof. I feel you. Sounds rough.

It sounds like you need some joy in your life. I can think of three main areas where you might be able to start to have more of that in your life. First and foremost, you would benefit from a social life - as it seems that you are aware. I don't know enough about you to know what the obstacles preventing you from finding and growing a social life are, but that seems pretty important to figure out. If you've got free time, you should be able to start to cultivate a social life.

Second, a hobby that gives a bit more of a sense of accomplishment. I'm artistically oriented, so I tend to think of arts and crafts, but really anything where you're developing a skill would work. (I know that playing video games is a skill too, but you know what I mean.) A second advantage to a new hobby is that it is an opportunity to engage with a new community of people and in that way start to look for new friends.

Third, beauty. This can be a challenge if you're struggling financially. And I understand the house you live in is gross in ways that you don't control, but creating a sanctuary for yourself would be good. If you can't change your space, maybe you can spend more time with your eyes closed listening to immersive, beautiful music.

Of course this is all a bit of a challenge to accomplish. It involves creating new habits, and if you're starting from a place of depression it can be hard to find the motivation to power those changes. But making those changes is the only way your life is going to improve. Ideally, you would come up with a vision for how you ideally want to spend your time and then start with small changes that you can mostly sustain, building up to the goal.

I'd be happy to talk with you further if you like. It seems like you may need some help figuring how to overcome your challenges to developing a social life. I'm also available as a kind of accountability partner to help keep you on track with implementing changes that you decide on. I'm also available if you just want to talk a bit more.

Good luck.

I have no idea how you are doing it as that is under 30k a year if you get full hours each week and your rent is over 24k. so like less than 500 a month for everything else and that is pretty rough just getting food.

Honestly, thank each and everyone of you for responding. 💛 I'm looking into everything you guys have recommended and gonna see what fits best for me. Love y'all!

i can only offer you an ear, stranger, but i am here. you are heard. i acknowledge your struggle and wish you relief. i will add that i can commiserate with you, so if you ever need somebody new to vent at, feel free to reach out to me any time (now, later, never, it's all good). i can relate to your feelings at least, so the way you feel isn't yours alone.

edit: btw happy cakeday :3

Hey there, I've been living abroad for over a decade and can tell you exactly how to do it.

The total cost of living (rent, utilities, wifi, groceries) outside of the US is $500 for most countries and $1000 for the remainder.

Get any remote job you can work at for 10-15 hours a week, move to one of the $500 countries, recuperate, live. Take it from there.

Please ask me any questions about living abroad here in the comments, in messages, or in my travel community; it's extremely liberating living abroad and I have all the practical information and experience to help you do it.

Please stop smoking. I have lost three close people to lung cancer, and my brother in law smokes and I literally can't watch it again. You will save a bunch of money. Like, used car money. You're on Lemmy, right? We do watch parties sometimes. I volunteer at a library. It was something to do during COVID, and it has 100% turned everything around for me. I used the boost to my ego to get off my ass and go back to school, got my diploma, and found my dream job. I don't have things together yet, but I'm moving in the right direction. You can too! Please quit smoking.