Privacy is like swimming in an endless sea: Oftentimes you find yourself barely treading water; often more you're choking, trying to find your balance and your breath. Never forget that you spent your whole life drowning until you decided to swim, though.

Meds

I'm not sure about your situation. But I'd recommended setting up Buskill on your laptop/pc it can wipe the luks slots on your drive making it completely unreadable all by just disconnecting a USB (this could be magnetic so if they pull you it'll get auto triggered) but then again this is only useful if you live in somewhat free country where cops can't torture you to decrypt/restore your data.

i don't know why you need extreme privacy. But what I can tell you is it's OK you can take a break from whatever you are doing that needs this lvl of privacy.

Reporting on bad regime, they'll still be doing bad stuff once you come back from a break.

I’m always hiding my internet activity from others.

Me, too. What's wrong with us?

I think the less stressful approach is limiting Internet activity altogether rather than obsessing about whether or not what I'm up to is hidden well enough. For example, you could write your own software. I, myself, obsess about whether or not my python scripts actually work instead of inveigling my friends to encrypt everything they put in the Cloud. See, for example:

• https://pypi.org/project/tonto2/

What is keeping you all from extreme stress considering the possibility that a government is spying on your actions despite strict privacy practices?

Threath model analysis. I do enough to not be in the bycatch as more than a IP (no cloud & social media, encrypted private communication) and low profile enough to not be targeted directly.

What is keeping you all from extreme stress considering

Not being prone to paranoia, as unhelpful as that is

I'm also a realist, which keeps my expectations in check.

Remember that you are one person. Nobody in government censorship or reconnaissance of the public cares about you enough to spy or hack you. You alone aren't worth the effort or resources.

Remember to play. Go outside for a walk, meditate, consume entertaining non-toxic, non-fiction media, have sex or masturbate. All work and no play makes Ringpop a dull person.

The Onion Router, for internet stuff, or a (reliable and well reputed) VPN. But you have an entire community of people more specialised than me for how to not get noticed on internet anyways. Stays informed on the world, and reduce risky things, for you to get some better sleep. Dunno what businesses you do, but your priority is to stop depending on them. Hiding everything you do is just like putting yourself under the spotlight.

A physical diary that only you knows about, to free yourself from your stressful thoughts and ideas, (with a lighter always nearby) will ease a lot. It works very well for me.

All evenings, take 10 mins of your free time to yell the hell out of your mood in your pillow (gotta think about neighbors). Do sports, or things of your interests. Works too.

Oh and you shouldn't post things implying that much that you are doing suspicious things, anywhere on internet. Best irl stuff about you to talk about on corporate internet is none, even mundane things like your country. Illegal things must be done irl the good old way.

What is keeping you all from extreme stress considering the possibility that a government is spying on your actions despite strict privacy practices?

Because I'm a fan of my fucking rights and I'll defend it against an authoritarian government. I don't need to be a terrorist to value free speech.

How do you all stay calm with all this pressure?

It's hard, but by using good tools, writing out my privacy model, being informed. It will not necessarily make you calm about the current state of everything but at least be knowledgeable about how good your entire environment is.

To remain free (for good reasons or not btw).

But at the end the goal is to protect the freedom for everyone and give everyone a chance to live without interruptions by any entity that wants to regulate that

“I do a lot of dangerous and risky **** on the internet”

Well, you’ve already failed. You just admitted on an open forum accessible by everyone that you’re clearly involved in something.

I don't really have anything to hide... but I still believe in a fundamental right to privacy and personal agency. For a lot of people, these tools keep them alive (ex. Targeted minorities in oppressive regimes etc).

But for me, this is more of an academic exercise - I find it interesting, and the things I learn can be shared with others who need them more.

If your activities are affecting your ability to sleep and have peace of mind, my only advice is to stop.

I dont do anything actually bad on the internet. I have never even went to the dark web with the onion protocol. Im just not interested in the shit i would find there.

I use privacy tools because thats what I believe should be default. People deserve their privacy. No company or government actually have the moral right to take it away. They are supposed to be elected by the people to work FOR US. That part is just forgotten now.

I would speak with a professional therapist about this.

Cannabis and alcohol mostly

Im not sure what to say with the risky and dangerous shit but as a person living in a country where an unmarked, untrained,unregulated paramilitary masked militia are going after people on pure pretense. I can say Im going to live my fucking life and fuck them all. Never before have I more understood this part of the lord of the rings:

“I wish it need not have happened in my time.”

“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

Panicking and paranoia is counter productive.

If you do "lot of risky and dangerous shit" then it's even more important that you do so mindfully. If you get careless because you are tired you increase the risk.

Personally my "trick" is to learn from others, e.g. in few weeks in Paris there will be https://splintercon.net/paris/ where tools and processes will be explained. I can learn from them.

Also my way to stay calm isn't just to be mindful or learn... but do stuff, no matter how small. If you learn about a new thread, address it today. It doesn't mean fix the problem entirely (it'd nice if you could) but rather do something, ANYTHING, about it. If it's not solved, write notes about it and resume tomorrow or whenever you can. Every small effort does add up over time.

Finally I find that sport helps a lot to "evacuate" stress. If I feel some pressure from work or the overall situation, I go outside and sweat it out. It doesn't magically make the World better but it insures I'm a bit more in shape to try to tackle whatever is thrown at me.

I’m very paranoid. I do a lot of risky and dangerous shit on the internet.

I don't want to know what you do, however, if it's causing this much paranoia, perhaps you should not do risky and dangerous shit on the internet. I know that sounds overly simplified, but if it's that risky and dangerous, what's the roi? Sooner than later, risky and dangerous activities get noticed. When I constructed my threat model, it included a lot of potential adversaries. However, I do this because I am a rather private individual, not because I want to do risky and dangerous shit on the internet.

Why are you doing sketchy things on the internet?

If your own conscience is haunting you, that's a good signal for you to fix your behavior so you can have a clear conscience and you won't need to worry about the law closing in on you. What a horrible existence that must be.

The kind of "privacy" you get by using a VPN or avoiding Facebook tracking your web browsing is absolutely not appropriate for using against a threat model that includes three-letter agencies or even, frankly, the local cops. They can just, like, come to your house when you aren't there and bug it. Point a camera at your screen, station a dude in the closet, replace the computer with a cunningly painted cardboard replica of the computer which is a spy, etc. Or from the other end, they simply exploit a zero-day in every one of your seven proxies, because they care enough about catching you to burn them.

Sometimes the threat model says you just lose and you can't actually get what you want by using computers, because you have an information technology hammer and a fundamentally legal or political problem.

If you think the police are actually on to your crimes, stop doing those crimes! If the crimes needed doing for some reason, someone else less likely to be known to the police will probably do them instead, and you can surely find less-crimey ways to further whatever they were meant to accomplish. If you're in it for yourself for some sort of personal gain, quit while you're ahead.

If you think you're drastically overestimating the likelihood that the police are after you for your crimes, and it is affecting your ability to function, that's definitely a problem for your therapist. Presumably one who doesn't insist you explain your various crimes to them in detail, a thing which your lawyer (which you also maybe need?) might have concerns about.

I do a lot of risky and dangerous shit on the internet.

well.. this seems to be the bigger issue. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but if it ain't worth it, then it ain't worth it. That seems to be what you are telling yourself.

If you're ready to cut bait, then you just need to drop every connection that existed during that period. And start anew putting a solid line between before and now. Be the ringpop you want to be and act like old ringpop never happened. I suspect that guilt might be playing a part in your angst as well. The only way to fix that is to be a better man.

I get panicky from time to time.

Then I try to remind myself of my threat model.

It helps me to re-center myself.

In a storm of emotion, logic can be my rock.

I mainly protect my company secrets by encrypting it and hope for the best. Else, it's just the normal stuff, that is nobody else's business. But then, i am glad that i am old and likely won't have to live in a dystopian place like this world seems to be going towards.

Hey mate, besides the therapist recommendations, which are great, I would make a plan on how to make an exit from any criminal and all risky/dangerous activities you do.
If whatever you're doing is seemingly necessary, someone else will fill that role. Make the plan and follow it. If it involves moving or even switching countries, do that.

Creating a plan to exit will probably be calming and at the same time helpful when you make your adieu.

What's the point of life if crippling, paralyzing fear is all there is to it? I work on being a good steward of my privacy as much as it brings me joy and satisfaction, not so much that it consumes every waking hour.

Whatever it is, review your threat model. What's done is done and there is little that can be done to redact any evidence you may have left on the internet. Are you able to stop doing whatever it is that is putting you at risk of legal trouble?

If it's an drug or psychological problem, you need to seek professional medical attention. Many people die or suffer life-changing illness each year fearing that their doctors will rat them out for substance abuse. Don't be one of them. Patient privacy laws, at least in the US, prevent your doctors, therapists, etc. will protect you if you go and seek help. The main thing that they would have to disclose is if you make direct, credible threats to other people.

If it's a criminal operation or worse, lawyer up and good luck.

I actually don't hide any information. I practice privacy out of principle.