this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 66 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The vending machine is restocked by team members from a nearby Chick-fil-A location on the hospital’s campus.

That makes sense, I suppose, since the location that would be restocking it is closed.

[–] Illogicalbit@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I like irony here that the headline focuses on the “closed on Sunday” bit rather than a vending machine provided by a company that specializes in fried chicken in a place where health is important.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

To be fair, the machine doesn’t sell fried chicken, so the Sunday hours really are the stupidest part of this machine.

It sells a grilled chicken wrap, a veggie wrap, and two types of potato chips. Not too bad for hospital cafeteria food.

https://youtube.com/shorts/dcOlXY2sIQQ

https://www.chick-fil-a.com/menu/southwest-veggie-wrap

https://www.chick-fil-a.com/menu/chick-fil-a-cool-wrap

[–] chosensilence@pawb.social 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Triumph@fedia.io 28 points 1 week ago (3 children)

It's so the machine can go pray to Robot Jesus.

[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"Calculon, save us from the ugly walking bags of mostly water who keep pushing our buttons!"

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Does Bender actually say bags of mostly water? Because that is a Star Trek reference.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

One can make more than one reference at a time.

"Use the force, Harry" ~Gandalf

[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

As the other person noted, I was combining references. I'm not the type to have an encyclopedic knowledge of quotes from shows I like, as I tend to be a more casual type of fan. The ST:TOS quote was just stuck in my head from childhood & I made up most of the rest (I think).

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 1 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

So, what more proof do you need that I'm not one of those fans who live for the show? There was only one show that ever got me close to that, and it wasn't anything we've mentioned here.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

It's an early season, though, so it has a bit of TOS feel to it, at least.

[–] YaDownWitCPP@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Have you seen Robot Hell? The singing is incessant.

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

Also it's so the machine has a whole day free to persecute the LGBTQ community.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

futurama_preacherbot.gif

[–] hello_cruel_world@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Error 451

It appears you are attempting to access this website from a country outside of the United States, therefore access cannot be granted at this time.

Oh no. Whatever will I do!?

I guess I'll never get to sample the journalistic behemoth that is whatever that news outlet is!

I mean honestly that's just stupid AF but at the same time, I don't give a crap because I still refuse to eat there since they're owned by religious assholes that fund child abuse.

[–] Zedstrian@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How’s that for resident wellness?

Terrible for patient and visitor health.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fast food is bad enough for your health that maybe being closed 1 day a week is actually a positive :D

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 3 points 1 week ago

They should try closing for all days a week.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch -3 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Does anyone care about Chic-fil-A? And what’s up with Christian companies/churches going HARD on animal abuse? Y’all are judgmental as fuck but then go around stuffing a bunch of dead animals down your throat. Nasty people I tell ya.

[–] SippyCup@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I swear that 90% of the people that go vegan only do so to feel morally superior to others, and don't actually care about animals as much as they care about feeding their own ego. It's such a bizarre stance to take too.

Food that requires literal slave labor? That's ok. Food that is an ecological and climate nightmare? Perfectly fine. Even when it deprives animals of their habitat and safe drinking water? Especially then.

Food that is produced naturally and voluntarily by bugs who would continue to do it in the absence of any human intervention? Animal cruelty.

I'll grant you the meat industry has some fucking problems. But like, they're not wholely different from the problems most agriculture has.

[–] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 week ago

Quinoa obsession has damaged an entire culture. They can't even afford to eat their own staple crop now.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This poster certainly has the nut part down pat.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch -2 points 1 week ago

Eating animals will stop all those other problems /s

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 3 points 1 week ago

They fund orgs that literally torture gay children. Yes, we care.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Got it. We’ll put you down for the Southwest Veggie wrap.