"By the way, I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar"
this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2025
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Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!
I'm ruined!
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I regularly say "Hooray, I'm helping!" to my wife.
I scuttled away with my human claws up, screeching "whoop whoop whoop" whenever my wife wanted something I didn't like. I still wonder why she left me, Zoidberg!
The female Leela's problem is purely medical. Soon she will drop her eggs and they will hatch and all will be well
I love the running joke that he's a horrible human doctor
Zoidberg: There you are, good as new. Except for your dorsal fin, I'm afraid I couldn't find it after the crash.
Fry: Can I live without it?
Zoidberg: If you call that living.
"now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain"
"I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's cured."
"now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain"
"No, not that mouth." "I only have one." "Really?"
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Look at me, Dr Zoidberg, Home Owner!
Hermes: Come on, baby needs a new pair of shoes!
Dr. Zoidberg: The hell with your spoiled baby! I need those shoes.
Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg!
Your music's bad and you should feel bad!
"I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's treated."
I fucking love Zoidberg, he just gets me, yknow?
I use, "Enough of this, I'm going for a scuttle" all the time.
General: What is your purpose here?
[Zoidberg wakes up.]
Zoidberg: [drowsy] Alright, Officer, I'll move along.
Man: What the general means is why did you come to Earth?
Zoidberg: Not a day goes by I don't ask myself the same question.
Truman: If you come in peace, surrender or be destroyed. If you're here to make war, we surrender.
Zoidberg: Both good. The important thing is I'm meeting new people.
Zoidberg: Hooray!
Zoidberg: Take, I've got four of them.
Zoidberg: The president is gagging on my gas bladder. What an honor!
Tbh Roswell that Ends Well was a goated episode from start to finish
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My first clue came at 4:15 when the clock stopped. The next clue came 3 hours later at 4:15 when I discovered the body of Amy’s dead deceased corpse
"You ALL still have Zoidberg!"
Examples of Zoidberg's astonishingly poor grasp of human anatomy make up my favorite punchlines in the series. Of course Farnsworth would hire the worst (and possibly cheapest) candidate: a doctor that has no idea how his patients are put together.
Open your mouth. No, your other mouth.
it's been a few years since medical school, so remind me... Disemboweling in your species... Fatal or non-fatal?
"Once again, the conservative, sandwich heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!"
nom-nom-nom "I'm ruined!"
But still, to have your own pool!
Zoidberg: "I had garbage yesterday and it didn't cost me $300! I am not paying!"
Clamps - "Scuttle on home. This ain't none of your business, Slick."
Zoidberg - "My name isn't Slick. It's Zoidberg. JOHN [beep sound]-ING ZOIDBERG!"
The Silence of the Clamps
Scalpel. Blood bucket. Priest. Next patient!
Geez, Zoidberg. Leave some for the enemy to kill.
This isn't a war; it's a murder!
Deviled egg!?
......The same devilled egg
The husband and I quote "one art please" and "your [something] is bad and your should feel bad"
"Hooray, I'm useful! I'm having a wonderful time!"
I relate to this on a spiritual level.
“Is ‘desire to mate’ a feeling?”
“It’s all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the LIES UPON LIES!”
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The one he never actually said: "Why not Zoidberg?"
“Friends! Help! A guinea pig tricked me!”
JOHN
FUCKING
ZOIDBERG!
Don't mind if i already did!
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