this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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Idiots of Marketplace

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[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 71 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I like the idea that the best advice Jesus could give is "keep on truckin" lol

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sometimes Jesus takes the wheel and sometimes he hands it back to you so you don’t run your truck off the road

[–] CM400@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

I used to sign bibles in hotel rooms with that exact phrase. This one is definitely not one of mine, though.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

That's a good advice, but my favorite is "love thy neighbor".

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Shit yeah, let's go get that bitch authenticated. Worth it just to see wtf they do for that part

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Authenticator: This does indeed appear to have been signed by Jesus Gonzalez, who works at Walmart with the seller.

[–] suodrazah@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ah yes, let me sign this book about my future.

Keep on truckin'. 100% legit.

[–] DarkThoughts@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

In modern English, using the Latin alphabet.

With a ballpoint pen

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

THE LATIN ALPHABET VVAS AROVND AT THE TIME. VVHETHER IESVS KNEVV ABOVT IT IS A DIFFERENT MATTER, THOVGH HE DID HAVE SOME RVN-INS VVITH THE ROMAN EMPIRE, SO MAYBE?

Modern English and trucks though, definitely not.

[–] DarkThoughts@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Technically yes, but if he knew how to write, which is already a highly questionable thing, then it would likely not be in Latin.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He spoke Aramaic, but he was Jewish and Jewish people learn Hebrew reading and writing. He was well versed in scripture, so he probably did know how to read. The Bible talks about him spending a lot of time at the temple as a child, where he likely learned to read and write.

[–] DarkThoughts@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

The bible also says he performed a bunch of magic tricks, as well as a bunch of other nonsense.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

He was executed by the Romans. He definitely knew of the Romans.

[–] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Who is this Jesus, he like a celebrity in Mexico or something?

[–] Teon@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

Celebrity? No, he owns a bookstore in Oklahoma. Ask for Jesus Ramirez to get signed copies.

[–] Pons_Aelius@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

I think he's a MLB player from Puerto Rico.

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

wtf no Western Union, does this guy even know how the black market signed Jesus bible market works?

[–] oo1@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Maybe they rely on temple-based financial intermediaries or something?

[–] Cosmicomical@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago

It's also addressed at john wick

This post cannot be more American

How exactly does one authenticate that Jesus actually signed it? Also he definitely didn't, it wasn't written until 400 ad or later

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

Everyone seems to be assuming they meant Jesus Christ, but it's much more likely an actual modern person called Jesus signed it. (If an actual modern person not called Jesus didn't sign it)

[–] corvid_of_the_night@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

They must have the 3 AD version of the Bible. :P

[–] FatTony@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)
[–] MBZzZzZzZz@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Well, trucking is capitalized. So, I guess no.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Doubtful. Wasn't great with math, either.

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Kept dividing by two and getting double, smh.