this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2023
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Mental Health

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what i’ve learned researching resources for minors (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by EarthasaurusRex@lemmy.world to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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there seems to be no reliable resource for minors. all of them involve notifying your parents in some way or are there just to prevent you from killing yourself. there are no resources i could find, online or in person, free or paid, that provide private care.

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[–] 108beads@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

You might try this website: https://dontcallthepolice.com/. It lists resources in major cities. I checked several randomly, and all seem to have a "youth" section. When you click on "youth," you may see resources, or you may see "info coming soon."

At the top of that page, there is also a set of "national" listings. There are specific resources for abuse, trafficking, and so on. The most promising general resource seems to be https://teenlifeline.org/. I clicked through to that site, and it appears to have the equivalent of a warm-line staffed by other teens.

[–] EarthasaurusRex@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

i looked at teenlifeline to see if it was a reliable resource. it seems like the main service is teen counseling with parents. The things that don’t involve parents are the crisis line and warmline. a warmline connecting to other teens isn’t exactly comforting to.

[–] 108beads@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Bummer! I think the walls you're running into are a problematic sign of our times, on the one hand. Like book banning in the name of "keeping our kids safe"—in which case, the Bible has been proposed for banning in a few places that have become over-zealous. On the other hand, while not everybody out there is illegit, there are plenty of scammers and misguided weirdos all too ready to twist and use legitimate need for help to fit their own unsavory or misguided agendas.

You've probably already thought of this, but I'll toss it out there anyway: are there IRL people you can turn to—teachers, school guidance or counselling resources, adult neighbors or friends' parents you trust, older cousins, or organizations like scouting, coaches, etc.? You may want to add to that list. And obviously, if your gut makes even the smallest whisper of '"this is sus, it doesn't feel right," then you owe nobody any excuses for backing away.

[–] EarthasaurusRex@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

it’s summer vacation rn, but there are counselors at my school. the issue is that they are required (in the u.s) to notify parents if they feel i could put myself at harm. i could just… not say that, but i feel like then the importance of the situation isn’t portrayed well.

[–] GuyDudeman@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

This might help you: https://screening.mhanational.org/content/how-can-i-get-help-without-my-family-knowing/

[–] GuyDudeman@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This may be helpful as well: https://warmline.org/warmdir.html#directory

[–] EarthasaurusRex@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It seems like the warmline, at least for my state, is mainly for adults, specifically people 18 and older, which I am not.

[–] GuyDudeman@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I think you should call them and find out. Worst thing they can do is say "talk to your parents" you know? Just tell them that you can't talk to your parents about this, and that you need a resource for teens.

And call a different state's number. No rule against that.

[–] EarthasaurusRex@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

i guess something i should add to my post is, i’m not looking for someone to talk to or vent my feelings to. im looking for a solution. Calling a warmline every time i feel down does not sound reliable. im mainly concerned with how i can live through life without feeling how i am right now, not just relieving the symptoms.

[–] GuyDudeman@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I think you'd get some resources for that if you contacted the warmline. That's my point. That's what they're there for.

Also, you can talk to your Primary Care Physician, and they should be able to refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist - WITHOUT alerting your parents. Just go in for a "regular checkup" by yourself... and when you're in there with the doctor, tell them the real reason you wanted to get help, and they will help you. This is what I did and they were more than helpful.

[–] ZenGrammy@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

As an adult who has raised children and worked in doctors' offices, yes, this is a good idea. If there is any way for you to get help in your state without your parents knowing about it, your doctor will know the steps. If your parents usually stay in the exam room with you, ask the office to make sure you get alone time with the doctor during your visit. You don't have to tell them why. They will help you.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What’s your situation? Do you not have the cooperation of your parents?

When I think of “resources for minors” I just think of hiring a therapist.

You could try psychologytoday.com’s therapist finder. Each provider there has listed which groups they serve, and some of them list children/adolescents as their clientele.

Your strategies differ base on whether your parents are helping vs blocking you from finding care.

[–] EarthasaurusRex@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

i think hiring a therapist for a minor, at least in my state, requires parental consent.

[–] GuyDudeman@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

You think or you know? I think that you have to look into it and actually call some therapists.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Which brings me back to my question: do you have the cooperation of your parents or are they blocking you?

[–] EarthasaurusRex@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

i badly burned one of my fingers while cooking about a week ago and broke skin. they just now agreed to take me to the hospital tomorrow after a week of trying to get them to take me. if they react this way to a physical “illness”, imagine how they’ll react to a mental illness.

update: they changed their mind