this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2023
551 points (94.9% liked)

Memes

47169 readers
1305 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 30 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Qkall@lemmy.ml 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

bidet users in states can feel this meme

[–] buddhabound@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Toto makes a handheld battery powered travel bidet, if you didn't know. Instructions are in Japanese, but you can probably figure it out cuz there are illustrations.

[–] Qkall@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

and maybe this is my american ignorance leaking, but a portable bidet sounds hecking gross.... but i'll be a better person and do a bit o research. thanks

[–] I_hate_you_welcome@feddit.nl 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It’s just a spray of water, it doesn’t go on or in your butt

[–] Qkall@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

i've seen the mess my bidet has done ... i have ibs y'all... i feel like i'd make a mess of things. i'm scared :P

[–] I_hate_you_welcome@feddit.nl 3 points 2 years ago

Okay, that is a very real possibility, I didn’t even think about IBS

[–] dudewitbow@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago

Did someone just reinvent the Douche and renamed it?

[–] GravelPieceOfSword@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

signal-2023-08-09-08-51-16-065

Me wishing there were public bidets in the US and feeling dirty when I use non-bidets in an emergency.

[–] dingleberry@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Try wiping Nutella off a carpet and you'll know my pain.

[–] jukibom@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Jesus Christ, thanks for that mental image dingleberry

[–] BartsBigBugBag@lemmy.tf 1 points 2 years ago

The consistency is a variable that depends on your diet. I used to have that problem too, but no more!

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 15 points 2 years ago (3 children)

My dude, you're missing out on a world of workplace skiving.

[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I shit on company time.

[–] Che_Donkey@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That is until you work in a kitchen where the chef replaced the light with a heat lamp bulb...I admired and hated him

[–] OrganicLife@reddthat.com 2 points 2 years ago

That's devious and genius at the same time.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago

This sentence starts out sounding American and ends up very British.

[–] IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Who cares what toilet you poop in? As long as the toilet is clean. A man’s gotta poo when a man’s gotta poo

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My body shuts down when I'm out of the house, I literally cannot poop unless it's either my own toilet, or a very private and clean place somewhere.

[–] Caesium@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

yeah it's the worst. With shy bladder I'm prone to dehydrating myself just so I don't have to worry about using the bathroom when I'm in public

[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I work at a small grocery store and I'm astounded by how often people shit in our public bathroom. Our toilet is extemely popular, and as such is always ripe with the robust smell of shit. It's clear that many of these customers have a routine.

[–] willnever_fadeaway@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago

Home shit home

But yea, at least you know how clean your own toilet is and you can sit for hours on end with no one bothering you

[–] 5redie8@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 years ago

Imagine not being paid to shit.

-Posting this from the office bathroom

[–] Brisolo32@lemmy.eco.br 6 points 2 years ago

I haven't pooped for 3 days

[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Otoh there's nothing more manly than pooping in the dirty public washroom

[–] crummysocks@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I don't find it manly

[–] unreachable@lemmy.my.id 1 points 2 years ago

it's a safe house

[–] NewEnglandRedshirt@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Shitbreak won't have a problem shitting at school anymore. Slipped a little something into his Moccachino.

[–] kaupas24@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago

You get the same face when you get instant relief 2 seconds before unlocking your door.

[–] Rooty@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I was once like that, until I started working, now I can shit just about everywhere.