Get a couple of these and some rope. A few stitches and BAM, speedy sexy barbarian cosplay.
Or go with some of this in a colour of your choice and a pack of these for the sexy oracle of Delphi look.
If you want a more typically western European Ren faire type look, that's more complex.
The 5 o'clock shadow suggests this is not in the right community.
If you want to dodge deathgrip, swap to humping instead of stroking. It's not absolute but it's better for that particular issue.
But muh parents' rights! /s
Or rippling. Or, if it's a ring that grips situation, plunging in and out of itself.
How kinky? How much time in your day is spent in sexual fantasy? And what kind?
What was it like the first time you ever tried a bit of exhibitionism?
And now I want to write a weird novella about two extremely socially awkward straight guys who end up spending the night together because they each think the other is coming out to them as gay and are willing to do anything, even unwanted sex, as long as it means they don't offend their poor, gay, socially awkward friend, lest they be mistaken for a homophobe, and lose their only friend.
I'm gonna go with 'it depends.' Do I get any assurances? Do I get control? I might want hazard pay under some circumstances, but if terms are good, the price would be more possible.
Or this, this, and some sandals?