this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2025
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Casual Conversation
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RULES (updated 01/22/25)
- Be respectful: no harassment, hate speech, bigotry, and/or trolling. To be concise, disrespect is defined by escalation.
- Encourage conversation in your OP. This means including heavily implicative subject matter when you can and also engaging in your thread when possible. You won't be punished for trying.
- Avoid controversial topics (politics or societal debates come to mind, though we are not saying not to talk about anything that resembles these). There's a guide in the protocol book offered as a mod model that can be used for that; it's vague until you realize it was made for things like the rule in question. At least four purple answers must apply to a "controversial" message for it to be allowed.
- Keep it clean and SFW: No illegal content or anything gross and inappropriate. A rule of thumb is if a recording of a conversation put on another platform would get someone a COPPA violation response, that exact exchange should be avoided when possible.
- No solicitation such as ads, promotional content, spam, surveys etc. The chart redirected to above applies to spam material as well, which is one of the reasons its wording is vague, as it applies to a few things. Again, a "spammy" message must be applicable to four purple answers before it's allowed.
- Respect privacy as well as truth: Don’t ask for or share any personal information or slander anyone. A rule of thumb is if something is enough info to go by that it "would be a copyright violation if the info was art" as another group put it, or that it alone can be used to narrow someone down to 150 physical humans (Dunbar's Number) or less, it's considered an excess breach of privacy. Slander is defined by intentional utilitarian misguidance at the expense (positive or negative) of a sentient entity. This often links back to or mixes with rule one, which implies, for example, that even something that is true can still amount to what slander is trying to achieve, and that will be looked down upon.
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You're starting with a faulty assumption that everyone wants to participate in DMs.
Why on earth would I want to exchange DMs with random strangers? On reddit, I never got a single DM that wasn't a bot/scam or a creep asking for nudes or offering to be my foot-worshipping sub or telling me I should shut my woman mouth. Being a man on the internet must be so wild, seeing DMs on a pseudonymous platform as anything but a hidden channel to be sexually harassed.
Honestly, last time I used DMs was to give someone support during their finals since they were debating streaming during the time or not, and letting them know that their future and mental health are more important was well received.
I think the issue is that most well adjusted men see that there's almost never a reason to DM a stranger since you can just reply where anyone can see it, and the depraved see it as a chance to unleash their inner ape behind a safety shield - so friendly folk do the friendly thing and simply don't use the function until there's a solid reason, and that almost never happens.
Anonymity and social things really don't mix well when we have so many abusive and self-centered people who see it as an opportunity to ape out.