this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2025
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Chronicle the life and tale of the fediverse (+ matrix)

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[–] Rhoeri@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (9 children)

According to “drag,” you’ve already misgendered them four times. They’d report you for this.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 9 points 2 days ago (7 children)

They and I had a talk about that. I asked what their neo-pronouns would be if they followed the three basic courtesy rules, and they responded saying I could stick to they/them. They and anyone else are free to correct me if I relapse into he/him.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

Is there a link describing "the three basic courtesy rules" that doesn't go to Xitter? I can't access that site (and wouldn't want to even if I could, tbh.)

I tried searching for that phrase online and found generic "etiquette" lists, but without further context I can't tell if I'm finding the same thing you're referring to.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Rule 1: The way of referring to oneself should be translatable between mainstream languages. You can't blame people of other dialects for botching certain words or having no equivalent word. Something there must be accommodated for.

Rule 2: It should be six letters or shorter. It would be misusage if problems were caused because it was longer, such as creating too much bureaucratic stress.

Rule 3: No shock value is involved. I can't imagine people referring to you as a slur based on your instruction and being indifferent to it.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

this is interesting and i think it would be valuable to have discourse about this outside of distasteful characters, thanks for bringing it to attention

my initial thoughts are “what does mainstream mean lol” and “why six letters” and “what about languages that don’t use the roman alphabet”

but i appreciate the stance of respect and pragmatism this seems to come from so that’s nice

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

The word "mainstream" is used as opposed to oddly specific obstacles. A dialect, like, say, Mandarin is just a fact of life, as opposed to, say, encountering someone who wants you to adapt what you say into Klingon.

"Six letters" is chosen because it matches average nickname length and is a good starter point for compatibility. Letters from most alphabets can be swapped with letters into other alphabets, so that is no issue. As for logographic ones, most Mandarin characters do equal a phrase that would equal six letters.

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