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Again, I totally understand. I have been down the road that your friends are on.

This question you're asking has been a point of debate since the start of the zionist project a century ago.

The concept of some form of peaceful coexistance used to be the default position of liberal zionists, which in this context means supporters of universal human rights who believe in the establishment of a sovereign Jewish national homeland. The counterweight to this that has emerged -- particularly since the conquest and occupation of the West Bank, Gaza, East Jerusalem, and the Golan Heights in 1967 -- has been secular Jewish Supremacy and Religious Zionism. These are technically distinct, but ultimately both are far-right ethnonationalist/ethnosupremacist groups that advocate for a maximalist approach. Both believe in the complete conquest and ethnic cleansing of historic mandate Palestine.

The problem is that following the Oslo Accords, the far-right recognized that momentum was slowly shifting their way, and the liberal zionists never fought it. They liked the idea of rights and justice, but they didn't really have the stomach to advocate for the agency of Palestinians. Many are scared of Palestinians. Many recognize how utterly inconvenient their continued existence is. It was assumed that after a generation, they'd give up and their culture would've dissolved, but it didn't happen. Media shifted to the right along with the center of power in Israel, and US government -- historically a bulwark against the Israeli far right -- kept moving with them.

Most of your friends were probably raised much as I was. They probably got a tree planted in Israel for their b'nai mitzvah. They may have gone on a Birthright trip. And as they got older, they got more uncomfortable with the the side of Israel they saw during the Second Intifada and Operation Cast Lead, but accepted the universal pacifier: "It's complicated."

Which brings us to today. The illusion of any chance of agency or self-determination for Palestinians -- in both the occupied territories as well as Palestinian citizens living in Israel's formal UN boundaries -- has been rendered an obvious farce. Which means that everyone is really forced into largely three paths:

1. Radicalization. Much of the Israeli public has openly endorsed a second Nakba. They leave and live or stay and die. But staying and living should no longer be an option afforded to them.
2. Rebellion. You put on a shirt that says "Not in Our Name!" and throw tomatoes at John Fetterman. You tell the world that Netanyahu and his band of fascists are gaslighting the whole planet, and genocide is flat out antithetical to Jewish values.
3. Resolution. You just look away. It'll be over soon. Afterwards, if your kids ever ask about it you can say that you were against it. But hey: we can't mourn forever. And tickets to the new resorts in the Gaza settlements are heavily subsidized by the government, so who are you to say no to a nice vacation?

Biden is has been in camp 3 his whole career. As I mentioned, he justified violence against civilians in a private meeting during the Reagan administration. He's always had an appetite for breaking a few eggs.

I'm in camp 2. I want a one-state solution. It can be binational states or whatever, but I want everyone to have free movement across the territory, full rights, and for everyone to get access to the same national budget for schools and hospitals.

Your friends are probably demoralized and don't know what to feel. But if you don't take any action, the default option is 3. I hope they'll join me in 2. I'm furious that my son won't enjoy the privileges I did. Jewish safety and our reputation around the world are the prices that are being paid for a bunch of real estate.

I'm sorry this is all so long. I don't know if you'll read this, but as you can tell, I've got a lot bottled up. I bet your friends do to. Give them my love and support.