this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
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What is everyone's opinion on how ADHD affects people's desire to have kids? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 1 day ago by ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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When I was a kid, I was punished excessively. My diagnosis occurred when I was 25. In the 1980s, I got paddled every day at school and was punished constantly. It made me feel rejected, leading to rejection sensitivity dysphoria. By the time I was 9, I decided life was not worth living and have not changed my mind at 45 years old. I would never have a child to suffer the way I did. I still feel like nobody wants me around. My mental health issues have severely impacted my quality of life. I'm just now figuring out that this might be why I have never felt my clock tick, or thought for even a second of my life that I wanted kids.

Has this happened to anyone else? I wonder how many in this forum might have decided against parenthood due to ADHD effects without realizing it.

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[–] moakley@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

I don't have some unique perspective, but I have ADHD and kids.

I struggled with ADHD my whole life, thought I was just lazy and incompetent, and then I got diagnosed as an adult. I got on meds, worked through some of my issues a little I guess, and mostly got my life together. Standard ADHD story.

Twelve years later my wife and I had our first kid. Seven months from now, we'll be welcoming our third.

I always wanted kids, but in a vague sort of way. I thought maybe later in life it would be an answer to my cosmic dread and fear of death. I didn't have strong personal feelings about it, but I always figured I'd have them.

I love them so much. I'm stressed and frustrated a lot of the time, but overall I'm happy.