found in my archives
this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2025
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Programmer Humor
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Support would be like
User reports lightbulb is broken. Tries to talk user through troubleshooting. Problem resolved by turning on light.
More like:
Use reports lightbulb is broken. Support spends an hour talking user through diagnostic tests. Determines that the lightbulb in question is a houseplant.
User can not find switch. Guided to switch, user said switch operation is too complicated and refused further troubleshooting. Escalated.
User is very upset. It was a broken bulb last time, so it must be a broken bulb this time. Why can't the help desk make bulbs that don't break? Bulb was fine, user was locking and unlocking the door instead of flipping the light switch.
I wish users would report their problem istead of what they think is the solution. It's more like: Hey support, I need a floorplan of the building containing positions of all electrical wiring. High priority, department is at a complete stop rn!
And when they do report the problem, they should report the actual problem they had and not what they think the problem is.
So instead of eg. "my computer's been hacked!", it's actually "I saw a scary error dialog I didn't understand"
That sounds roughly related. I see ones like: excel file broken!!! Actual issue: it's dark so the computer screen is too bright and when they put sunglasses on due to the brightness, they can't read the numbers. Solution is to turn the lights on.