"Doogie Howser here hasn't even had a day of med school, but thanks to AI he's writing 5000 drug prescriptions per day!"

"We literally found this homeless man on the street ranting about lizard people, and now thanks to AI he's the the biggest stud at the hedge fund, making hundreds of multi-billion dollar trades every day!"

"Betty here failed out of high school and can't even pronounce 'nuclear' properly, but thanks to AI she wrote the entire atomic power plant safety manual in a day."

"Would you believe that Fred is still in a coma? Yeah, doctors say he's 'in a persistent vegetative state' and 'never going to recover after that i-beam crushed his head', and 'what you people are doing is both cruel and insane'. But, we hooked DeepSeek up to his respirator and heart monitor and connected some black and red wires together and he's back to working as an air traffic controller!"