this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
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On the one hand, it's fun to fuck with players. "So you enter the room? Cross the threshold of your own free will? Ok who's wearing metal?" when none of that matters, but you write it down anyway.
On the other, sometimes I've had to be like "ok guys seriously there's no traps here. Put away the ten foot pole and chickens let's just move along"
I like to randomly ask if they wanna move around stealthily, even when there is no one to find them
I killed an unrelated NPC that witnessed me because my DM did that once.
And they opposite, when they ask to roll perception or investigation when it doesn't matter at all and the improv'ed answer turns into a major plot point
That's the beauty of cooperative storytelling.
And the ability to rapidly pivot and discard all the preparation you did is THE most important skill for a good DM.
A good DM prepares an intricate and fulfilling dungeon for the party.
A great DM knows to leave half of the space empty, for when the players decide to smash straight through the goddamned wall and you need to improvise secret rooms.
And a fantastic DM knows that the content of the dungeon is constantly in flux until the party perceives it. They may have the floor plan and ideas for each room laid out, but the Macguffin they came here to claim is always in the farthest point away from wherever the party entered. It is Schrödingers treasure chest, simultaneously positioned in every room and none of the rooms of the dungeon until the party perceives it. Party sneaks in through the basement? The macguffin is in the attic. Party sneaks in through the attic? The macguffin is in the basement.
My first round as a new DM:
The group wakes up in the hold of a ship, all tied up. They piece together that they each individually (they didn't know each other before) must have been drugged when they were out drinking. They all found that somebody tattooed a symbol onto their necks
The plan was to have some guards talk to each other, giving the players some exposition. Then they'd be shipped to a harbour, unloaded there and then put into an arena where they'd be used as gladiators. From there the story was supposed to go that they'd win their freedom through winning in the arena and so on.
So what actually happened was that the rogue managed to open up their chains, and before the guards could say or do something, the mage stunned them and the rest of the group totally wrecked these poor guards. I told them that the deck was full of fighters and crew. That's when the orc barbarian had the bright idea to knock a hole into the hull of the ship to escape that way. You know, a ship on the sea. And he knocked that hole below the water line. In a storm.
Consequently, the story pivoted to trying to beach that sinking ship in the middle of a storm while the fighters on the deck were trying to get rid of them.
It was a fun round and ended with them just about managing to kill the guards and beach the ship. As a punishment for ruining my story, I kept teasing the significance of the tattoo, without ever revealing its meaning throughout the whole campaing :)
I didn't know this was an option. I'd like a nat 20, please.
Well there is your problem. Players shouldn't be asking for rolls, DMs tell players what rolls are needed so they can describe the scene playing out based on them.
I would do random dice rolls behind the screen.
The DM rolls dice because of the way they sound when they bounce against the table. I just enjoy the clattering noises. No other reasons.
Oh. I roll the dice behind the screen at random because I enjoy the worried faces.
Me too. That and sometimes I just need to fiddle with something.