this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2025
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Off My Chest

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Help: I made a mistake! (lemmings.world)
submitted 1 day ago by StupidIdiot@lemmings.world to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
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Hi, so I am (F). My boyfriend is obviously (M). So, a few days ago, we exchanged messages, which looked like this:

Hey, So, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but can you not text, call, or hang out much anymore (like only hang out at restaurants)? I just don't like it. Again, I am real sorry to hurt you, I just don't really like communicating via telephone or hanging out. I am very introverted. Thanks <3

He responded with: "Don't worry! You're not hurting my feelings!! I will definitely talk less on the phone if that's what you want and talk more in-person."

I said "That's perfect <3 OK"

And all he sent yesterday was "Hi!" and not much else and I told him I couldn't talk so he stopped messaging altogether except for "hi, have a great day" or even just "Hi".

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[–] zaperberry@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago

You:

  • Don't like texting with them
  • Don't like talking on the phone with them
  • Don't like hanging out with them
  • Don't care about the things they like, only that they like what you like (from you other post)
  • Don't want them to take you away from your games
  • Don't want them to break up with you because you "need" them

So...what do you even like about them?

Whether it's intentional or not, this sounds extremely manipulative. You haven't said a single thing that gives the impression that this is somebody you actually care about. You're using them as an accessory. Someone you can fall back to when you're not binge gaming in fear of being truly alone.

I think you need to revisit your priorities in life. You don't work, you don't put effort into maintaining personal relationships, and you escape reality by gaming your days away. I don't think you're ready to commit to a relationship because I don't think you are even capable of caring for yourself at this moment.

Being extremely introverted is one thing. This is just being selfish. Again - intentional or not.