Popularity isn't about the number of friends they actually have. It 's about the number of people who want to be associated with them. It's a subtle, yet important, distinction.
this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2025
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The implication is typically that they're popular with guys. ie, they're physically attractive to the opposite sex, they are sex symbols. That's really what it's all about. It's not a two-way label, it doesn't mean the attraction is necessarily returned. Although it is often assumed and commonly leads to people accusing them of being "sluts" despite not being justified. But on its own it just means that they are the object of desire of many boys: they probably have many suitors, lots of people want to ask them to the dance, etc. That is the way they are considered "popular".
I don't know about girls but in high school my group of nerds fell in with a "popular guy" who turned out to not have any close friends because he was so popular people always assumed he was busy and didn't call him.
So he fell in with some nerd freaks who did call him. Fun times.
If there's any young people reading this, I want you to take notice of what just happened here. Perception becomes reality....except it's not reality.
People thought this guy was just SO popular, that he was too busy for them. Which means in reality, he wasn't popular AT ALL. Nobody wanted to be his friend, because everybody assumed he was too important to be their friend. The only people who were his friends are the ones who tried.
This works with dating too. There's women of all ranges of looks. Some women are just born so naturally beautiful that they become intimidated to even TRY to talk to her. Everybody thinks she's out of their league, and that's total bullshit. If a person think they're out of your league because of looks, they're right. They're totally below you. BUT there's also people who OTHER people assume she's out of their league, and all she's doing is waiting to be asked out. Nobodys asking her out, because everybody thinks she's going to turn them down, and what ends up happening is you can get some real Homer and Marge situations.
Because let's be real. Marge could do SO MUCH better than Homer. I realize that because of the way animation works, they've had to retell the way Homer and Marge met and retcon the previous versions. But no matter which version you pick, Homer as always been an overweight buffoon with no real qualities to endeeer himself to Marge. But he TRIED. Sometimes that's enough. You just go up to whomever you have a crush on, and just, go for it.
And maybe they will turn you down. I'm not implying that every time you flirt with someone it will go well just because you tried. There's a whole list of variables to take into account that you can't possibly know before you try. The end result will be maybe she's just not that into you. Or maybe she is. You don't know until you try. I know so many people who "got the girl", whom everyone is baffled by, simply because they were the only one who asked.
So just come up with a funny little pickup line. Something cheesy. Cheesy is good. The pickup line isn't what's going to win her over. You're what's going to win her over. The pickup line just measures her level of interest. If she's giggling at your little pickup line, it's not because the cheesy pickup line was that good. It's because YOU are that good to her. The pickup line is just a measuring stick of her interest. So don't worry about the perfect pickup line. Just a funny cheesy one. Preferably one she's never heard before.
One thing I will say, is that it has to be "girl funny". To me, the funniest pickup line ever is telling her in a totally straight deadpan voice, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in...."
To me, that's hilarious. That SHOULD be a great pickup line. It's not. Don't use that one. You'll get gross looks, as if you actually are holding back from shitting yourself. So maybe don't include feces in your pickup lines.
Incredibly true and good advice.
It's actually how I bagged the most beautiful woman I ever dated when I was younger.
However, there's other aspects of it, too.
She stopped talking to me after about two months, and I spent years wondering how I fucked up.
Years later, when she was with someone else we would reconnect and she admitted that it was actually because I was the first man who had actually wanted to know what was on her mind and respected her as an intelligent and thoughtful woman, and she really didn't know how to handle it, nor did she feel like she deserved it. She had been pushed to be a traditional blonde cheerleader type, but by college, when I met her, she was finally trying to break out of that mold that really never fit her well. She would go on to further admit that she used to drive by my place and wonder how I was doing, and this was after I had moved, so she had found out my new place from a mutual friend.
It was a head rush to find out. She still lives in my head as "the one who got away." I'm not really sure there's much else to boost a guys self esteem than to know he was being stalked by a smart, thoughtful and stunningly beautiful woman.
Anyway, point being, those beautiful women may really not be what they look like on the outside, too. They might be a lot more like you than you think.
Hope she's doing well these days.
Yeah, that's probably what happened to me, too
because he was so popular people always assumed he was busy and didn't call him.
That's so amusing
It's not because they have friends but because it is perceived that most people want to be their friend, thus popular (usually a middle school/high school trope where bullying ran rampant as a way for kids to develop their own ego boundaries). If they were just shitty and people didn't want to know them, it wouldn't be popular
ohhh i get it, thanks!
Hopefully this instructional video answers your questions:
Because they held an air of importance and people want to he near them.
It's all monkey social brain at work,