this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2025
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[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 49 points 6 days ago

"Tell us what kind of people you fuck. Telling us you don't fuck anyone is not a valid answer"

[–] peregrin5@lemm.ee 37 points 6 days ago

Depends on the context so if this is just a private survey to help someone/something you know and support, that's fine but don't give corporations your personal info for free please. Especially not info they can sell to someone else to target you for advertisements or worse, to the government so they can pinpoint target you for nefarious purposes in the future.

[–] exonode@lemm.ee 34 points 6 days ago

Apart from perhaps dating websites, I don't see why such a question is necessary at all.

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 29 points 6 days ago

Yes. Every form really should have a "prefer not to say" option.

[–] VivianRixia@piefed.social 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

And also seeing bi/pan as separate options. I'm used to seeing them combined.

[–] alx@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 days ago (3 children)

People may prefer one term over the other, but those are definitely the same thing.

[–] i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Definitely a divisive topic. My understanding is that bisexual is attraction to two or more genders (of any nonzero amount of attraction) and that pansexual is equal attraction to all genders. Bisexual is an umbrella term and pansexual is a specific type of bisexual.

However, how people decide to label themselves is a bit tricky. Some folks consider themselves pansexual, and the bisexual label does not apply. Other pansexual folks will say that bisexual also fits. There are even more labels, like omnisexual (attraction to all genders, but the level of attraction between them is not equal), that exist but aren't in as wide of use. It's not really my place to say whether these labels are valid or if these folks are using them right, but this is what I have observed over time.

If I needed to make a multiple choice form for collecting sexuality information, I would likely have straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, other and prefer not to say, with each option allowing notes if wanted. This would still allow for people to choose a label that fits them and be more specific if they preferred. (A pansexual person, for instance, could choose bisexual or other and further specify if they so chose.)

[–] yuri@pawb.social 5 points 5 days ago (3 children)

My understanding is that bisexual is attraction to two or more genders (of any nonzero amount of attraction) and that pansexual is equal attraction to all genders. Bisexual is an umbrella term and pansexual is a specific type of bisexual.

nailed it, chef’s kiss, got it in one.

for me the distinction is important bc even the idea of having a gender preference is really foreign to me. genitals and gender expression have nothing to do with whether you’re a shit person or not! i can’t even imagine a scenario in which i’m “turned off” by the way someone was born. OR MUCH WORSE, by the way they CHOOSE to find comfort and self-fulfillment via gender expression.

context: i got the ’tism and something like a nonbinary identity myself. i’ve been told those things do a lot to explain this perspective lmao

[–] feiras@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago

thank you, that finally put it into words! only context difference for me is I'm not enby

[–] Sunsofold@lemmings.world 3 points 5 days ago

Isn't arousal based on personality more demisexual than any of the others shown above?

It's hard to explain. I am (demi) aromantic and I really can't pin down why I am attracted to women and femme folks. It's just "vibes," I guess.

I can be friends with a person regardless of gender identity, expression, or genitals no problem. I can recognize when a man or masc person is good looking. But I am just not interested in them sexually.

Also autistic.

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (3 children)

There is some degree of distinction, I'd say. Bisexuality is attraction defined by the male/female binary, pansexuality is attraction regardless of gender. A person can be bisexual and attracted to cis men and cis women, but not pansexual if they aren't attracted to trans or agendered folks.

Granted, a lot of people who say they're bisexual are probably actually pansexual, but stick with the label that is more widely used and understood out of convenience.

[–] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 5 days ago

That is not true, and never has been. The dichotomy described by bi in bisexual isn't male/female, it's homo/heterosexual. Pansexual is a subcategory of bisexual, emphasizing that one is attracted to all genders (or regardless of gender), not just a subset of them, equally. Whereas a bisexual might have varying levels of attentions to different genders

[–] FweliXOX@lemy.lol 3 points 5 days ago

Granted, a lot of people who say they’re bisexual are probably actually pansexual, but stick with the label that is more widely used and understood out of convenience.

Yeah It's easier this way

[–] amelore@slrpnk.net 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 15 minutes ago)

Historic definitions only matter in historic text.
The currently popular definitions are "attraction to your own and different genders" and "attraction regardless of gender".

[–] thurstylark@lemm.ee 2 points 5 days ago

Oh no! Nuance?? We can't have that! Put those people in the same box, ASAP!!

Fucking hell, just let people have their distinctions.