Bottle of water. Wash with hand.
this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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Punch a hole in the neck of a small water bottle using a (hot) needle or a cork screw. Fill the bottle with water, close the lit and spray your ass by holding the bottle upside down and squeezing it. I used this 1$ Ghetto-Bidet for years!
I got onboard the bidet train during the Covid lockdown. Simple to add on at my apartment. It was my #1 request when I moved to my GF's house. We replaced the whole toilet with the upgrades.
Yup. Same. Feels way better. It's just like taking a shower after every dump.
Yay, bidet!
"Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You'd wash it. So why is your butthole any different?" - Detective Allen Gamble, 'The Other Guys'
My butthole is very different from my face and I hope that is true for everyone else as well
Lip skin is the same as butthole skin
Be kind
Bidet and wipe
By butthole is nowhere near my taste buds and designed to pump out fecal matter. Other than my lips. Bidets are cool but I if there isn't one that's not a problem.
Different enough that you don't mind having shit smeared all around it?
Different enough that I'm fine with thoroughly wiping my ass. That's hardly "having shit smeared all around". I'm regularly under the shower and that's good enough for me.
Reading this on a toilet without a bidet :(
Please send your prayers
Thought and prayers 🙏
I like the bidet's we have at home, but I don't get the ones that are separate from the toilet. Saw this type when visiting San Juan, PR once. Their plumbing system can't handle toilet paper very well, so it's all bidets with a stack of washed towels.
Not only do they take up extra space in the bathroom, but are you supposed to waddle over to this thing with a dingleberry hanging out? I don't get why you'd want that.
The one argument I've heard in their favor is from people with vaginas who don't like the idea of the built-in sprayer catching bits of poop that'll get in their cootch.
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So, maybe I'm missing something here, but bidets don't seem all that great? Everyone on the internet is always proclaiming life changing experiences with these things. However, when I recently used them they don't seem to do very much. My butthole is still poopy and when I wipe to dry my ass the toilet paper tears.
Operator error.
Clearly needs more hydro pressure
I was like you a few years ago.
The crappy ones feel like that.
Then I sat on a fancy one that sang me a lullaby and gave me positive encouragement as I pooped. My god, my entire butthole is so fresh.
I now understand.
Some are better than others in both power and nozzle angle/placement. Sometimes you have to shimmy to get the angle just right if the power is low. It should result in a wipe in which no fecal matter remains, only wetness, if executed properly.
Exactly. There's a learning curve but once you've got it, you dread wipe only bathrooms. Installed a bidet on one of my toilets six months ago and now that's the only toilet anybody in the house poops in unless it's already occupied.
You need to use the power washer setting. Takes the paint right off the wall.....
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