An IG account isn't a phone number or email, and I think it's weird that young people treat it like it is.

Just say you don't do social media, and if they can't respect that, it's a quick test as to if they're your people or not.

This is, IMO, the biggest problem with FB and IG. They've replaced personal connections. I know some women who say they won't date anyone without an IG account.

and it feels too personal to ask for someone number when I just met them

Someone's number is literally just a series of digits. Social Media has their fuckin' life's story. I'd say it's far less personal.

Is this an age thing? I'm about 40 and I never had instagram, barely used facebook, and didn't use any others really. I don't think I've ever had a problem where someone backed out because I didn't have instagram. But I also don't have a big group of casual friends, and maybe that would be harder.

Discord sucks, but I've noticed a lot of social groups use it. A couple meetups I go to all use it for communication. Maybe that's more bearable than instagram?

Unfortunately I have also found it to be a huge impediment to making friends with other millennials who aren't techie. I sort of left a crowd that was always on xmpp and signal and found myself rather ostracized. Things are changing slowly and most of them are now on Signal and with the usernames it's easier to exchange contact without relying on phone numbers that feel like a bigger commitment. But unfortunately passed explaining why you won't support Meta, and why alternatives like Signal are good there isn't much to do.

If they shun you for not having instragram, find better social circles.

Man I'm glad I got done with the "I want to meet new people" part of my life before social platforms became inevitable. As far as I know nowadays it's either friends or privacy. Can't have both

How is having somebody’s phone number more personal than having access to an account where you can see all the photos they take and shit? I’d just ask for their number.

It sucks, but just ask for numbers or emails

Back when Craigslist had personals ads I answered one saying that I had 10 laptop computers and no facebook account, and I actually got a couple of dates that way. Not everyone wants corporate media.

I've been chatting (non romantically) with someone I met on another forum, who is about the same way. No facebook or reddit or anything, not even Lemmy, just a few niche forums.

I would just make an IG account if it's being a large obstacle, you probably don't have to install the app as you can do most things through the web browser.

Privacy is subjective. Use it but dont use it for things you don't want Facebook to know about. Don't use it on your phone. Don't use it on a computer with things you care about. Keep it in a container tab in your browser but don't keep it open all the time.

It's kind of a pain but you can definitely be mindful and only give meta crumbs where others are giving them truckloads of data.

Sadly there is a lot of good content on Instagram

Phone number can be problematic to share in some areas of the world, so it does depend on where you are, but email shouldn't be an issue in general. So easy to get an additional, private email address and use both at the same time.

I also don't have most mainstream social media anymore but have noticed a significant drop in people asking for it these days. Might just be my location in a city with a lot of progressive, tech savvy people, though.

I mostly use phone number and/or Signal these days.

yeah i feel you. I'm in a band, so instagram is basically a necessity for promotion and communication. getting the word out about shows, other bands will message me for gigs etc

just try to use it a little as possible, and try to lock it down as much as possible in the os. you can do alot in the android app settings.

basically treat it as you would having a conversation near a security camera.

Make a pixelfed, people want to know you we ask for IG

What I've done since Instagram is practically necessary for networking at my university, is using shelter for android I have Instagram Revanced in a work profile, and I've opted out from everything possible in the app, which is easy but not simple. I also have my account set to private and no posts, although maybe I'll need some at some point idk. I also have trackercontrol to block trackers, and I use the Facebook Container add-on for Firefox as well as Ublock Origin.

Don't worry, I handed out my Instagram to some people who requested it and those connections fizzled out just as easily.

Could be down to me only ever checking it on a designated laptop once a week, but in my opinion, if it comes down to an Instagram account and regular app access, can't even exchange SMS numbers to text, then it's already a tenuous connection.

Funny enough, I didn't even make my own Instagram account. My friend really wanted me to be on Instagram so he went ahead, made it under my name, and handed me the keys. You probably can't do this nowadays due to security checks, unless you're Meta making a shadow profile kinda like my friend did for me. I'm just sitting on the shadow profile that would exist anyway, trying to contribute as little as possible.

same, i just say I don't do instagram and tell them my local whatsapp equivalent's id or phone number. I've tried using instagram a few times but it can't be used anonymously at all.

I've gone back to just texting and switched over to signal for band chats and group stuff, and so far the only person who doesn't like it is a dick bag who claims to be an anarchist but refuses to live his life without using a fascist propaganda machine to socialize.

Anyone have any advice?

• Ask them for their number, and see how it goes? Worst case, they will say 'no', end of the story. Maybe the will ask why you don't have IG and that will be the start of an interesting conversation.
• Try to meet different kind of people? I mean it seriously. I know a lot of people around me who have IG/Facebook/X and so on but at the same time none of them make it a requirement to use it.
• Use a second phone/number for that crap content only? I barely use my 'real' phone (I have nothing installed on it beside what I'm required to use) still I do own a second phone just so I can easily share a number with all the services and various craps that ask for one. It's a phone I never answer to, despite it being constantly harassed by callers. And that peace of mind (my real number is almost spam free) only costs me the 2€/month (plus the phone, I purchased used). You should be able to do something similar for social networks: have a second phone without anything personal on it, just with IG.
• Accept that you're doomed to use IG because it's with those 'IG people' and no others you want to spend your time with? I like to spend time with people reading books, it's kinda expected we indeed read books. Would I not like to read, I would not spend as much time with them.

Find a way to use Instagram to drive them to another app, like this: https://lemmy.world/post/21620691