this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2025
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[–] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago

Unless it's Ancient Greece! There, if you had a massive dong they'd call you a stupid barbarian.

[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

The thing is, I actually DO know how to increase dick size with vitamins and I'd never tell the limp dick misogynists here :)

[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 15 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

Why have I seen this joke 500 times in the last 2 weeks in meme format and in shorts format and multiple languages?

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 14 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

we (men) are trying to get back in the coven's good graces so they can help us with the source of all human misery (dick too small)

[–] blx@lemmy.zip 5 points 11 hours ago

The source of all human misery? Oh man, as if I didn't feel the pressure enough already...

[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 3 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I thought witches stole semen

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 9 hours ago

Why steal it when they’d have lined of men willing to trade it for a bigger dick?

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 1 points 6 hours ago

Are you thinking of Succubi?

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 96 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Ancient solutions??? Shit! That would work TODAY!!!

If Kamala Harris had promised bigger penis's to all men if elected, she would be president right now.

Thats how I know all those pills and whatnot aren't worth trying. If ANYTHING worked, it would become a competition. And suddenly it wouldn't even be about if women liked it. Guys would be walking around with 60 inch dicks complaining they aren't big enough, because their neighbor is 90 inches soft.

And the human race would end, because no woman would be able to even take dicks anymore, so they'd just stop having sex.

And guys would STILL keep growing.

But none of that is real. So I know anything selling penis enlargement is a scam without needing to even try.

[–] ben_dover@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

sounds like what women do nowadays, with their bolt-on fake tits, duckface lips and glued on eyelashes. it looks disgustingly unnatural and ridiculous

[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

Then when you dress as a woman, dont wear them

[–] Damage@feddit.it 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Something can be ancient and still valid today.

We're still using many Roman bridges.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

forms penis into Roman bridge

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

......wait, like 1 continuous penis? How big is this bridge, and what did that guy EAT???

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

Honest to god, 4-7 inches is indistinguishable. Everyone’s dick is fine. The vagina only has nerve endings down like 2-3”. It’s only really gay men who are size queens, because it’s different for anal. I’ve had good sex with guys with 3”, I’ve had terrible sex with guys with 8”. The size had zero to do with the quality of the sex, it was more about respect/kink/other shit.

Taking 9”+ hurts. Some people are masochists and like that, but istg dick complexes are ridiculous.

[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Lol. Lol.

There is a huge difference between 4inches and 7inches.

Sex is satisfying with any dick size and no dicks. Sex is not about the dick.

The biggest dicks I've ever had, were huge porn dicks (10" and 11") and they didn't hurt at all. Ps I'm a sadist/Domme, not a masochist. Everyone has different sized vaginas, and perhaps mine expands really well, but I actually have borderline TOO MUCH tightness per my OBGYN and accomodated them easy. That's because big dicks aren't as hard as the smaller ones and are usually spongey and squishy which feels way different during sex than taking the hardness equivalent of a glass dildo at the same size.

My two favorite dicks (based on sexual physical sensation) were 4.5" and the 10" one named above. Smaller guy just stroked it perfectly and I came so fast with him, I think we just had very good compatibility in what positions felt nice and his dick was a perfect size to reach everything. The 10" guy was nice bc he was still able to stay hard (unlike 11" guy who needed a ring and still got soft, but his dick was also WAY bigger around, like soda can sized) and his dick had a perfect sponginess+width to it that my lips gripped, it was super super good.

Many women like cervical orgasms and full penetration, the vagina has nerves along the entire length.

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 12 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Man I hate it when I'm around someone with a istg dick complex.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 9 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

“I swear to god” - for emphasis because it’s such an obnoxious thing.

If I could afford a phalloplasty, I’d go for 5” and be delighted with it.

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 3 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Oooohhh. I thought you had somehow completely flubbed typing the word "big", or something like that.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Ugh. You're not even paying attention! She said she DOESN'T flub the big ones! She likes the average ones!

[–] kip@piefed.zip 5 points 17 hours ago

myers brigg dick energy

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[–] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 42 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Twist: There is a reliable method, but it is being suppressed because penis insecurity drives so many behaviors that it is considered a load-bearing pillar of world economics. Penis equity would lead to global collapse.

[–] defaultusername@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 23 hours ago

It's being suppressed not by Big Penis, but by Small Penis.

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[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 82 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I cast a spell to make them titties just bounce

I speak in a language only wizards can pronounce

Gimme my spells, gimme my book, gimme my cauldron and something to cook

I'm a crazy ass wizard, I ain't going to die, trust me on that, many have tried

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 39 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Spell activates, but all men in a 10 km radius get instant double D cups.

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[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ok, I'm gonna need an Oglaf version of this.

[–] SapientLasagna@lemmy.ca 7 points 11 hours ago

Best I can do is SMBC

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