Asexual and sex-repulsed trans lesbian here.
I don’t think I could be attracted to men, romantically, and I don’t think I could ever have sex with anyone, even if I had stuff like genitals.
this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2025
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I'm bi, but I've never dated any men before because it's just safer to date women.
I've definitely been in toxic and sometimes even abusive relationships with women, but I have a chance to protect myself when women raise their hands against me. Men? Maybe if I'm armed, but I'd rather not have to be.
Hell no. Every now and then I think that my life would be easier if I was straight, but then I run into yet another story of a batshit crazy guy or something, and suddenly be really grateful for being a lesbian.
I would not. A man is the reason I have permanent brain injury, ptsd, and permanent loss of some fine motor. I know women can be cruel too, but I don’t think the extent of the damage would be the same if such a thing were to occur. (I deleted a whole paragraph after this blaming myself for my motivation at the time and making bad choices. Still a bit ashamed than any of it happened.)
Tl;dr “no”
I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm glad you survived. The shame belongs to him, and we've got your back 100%
Thank you. It’s been a while now so honestly I’m all better and independent. What’s funny is there is still a biological attraction, my brain just says it wouldn’t be fair bc I would always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. So if I could turn it all off I would probably feel a lot better. I’m sure a lot of people have this problem.
Well done for getting through that, youre a warrior! Yes sadly many do have that and the fear is understandable. My tattooist has a t shirt that says "the greatest tragedy in my life is that I'm attracted to men".
For me it's a toss up. Straight woman: don't have constant anxiety about my rights to love being stripped, can show affectation in public, less worries in work etc, However, relationship danger goes up. Gay woman: I become "controversial" and if my relationship is dangerous, I'm more likely to be trapped. Commitment phobia is far less likely though.
So it's a rock and a hard place
probably not, tbh; this question reminds me a little of political lesbianism within second wave feminism
You mean what we called LUGs when I was in school?
I've never heard of the term "LUG", but I am vaguely familiar with the idea that some women feel free to have sex or relationships with women until they graduate and then intend to marry a man.
However, this is very different from political lesbianism, which is basically when a small group of extremist feminists suggested that men are inherently bad, all penetrative sex is inherently violence against women, and as a result heterosexual relationships are immoral and all women should be ethical lesbians (i.e. choose to only be in relationships with women for moral & political reasons).
This is of course not how human sexuality works, and political lesbianism failed. These ideas were connected to separatist movements in second wave feminism, the ideas of women forming their own separate, utopian society away from men and so on.
I would probably choose to be Asexual
Good choice
Yeah, I would choose to be attracted to men instead of women. I'll never forget how abusive and psychotic my mother was, and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to move past the trauma she inflicted on my father, myself, or the rest of my family growing up.
If attraction wasn't a thing, women would probably suffer as much as men. I'm a woman, and from all the people I know or have known, I don't think that toxic males outnumber toxic females. Neither is a majority by any means but regardless of gender each toxic individual has an outsized negative effect on everyone around them. I've always been attracted to men; I can't fathom that changing TBH.
Good god, has it really gotten this bad?
Maybe but it would require for a lot of things about us to be different.
I kinda do choose?
'Cause while masc-presenting is what gets the physical side racing, so does being an intriguing human being in general. The attraction in the second variety is gender-blind but also tends to be the attraction that leads to long-term relationship.
My bean, sounds like you're bi / pan :P
I've never been overly concerned about the genitals involved, there's probably a cool new word for the particular nuanced gradient now, but i've always just identified as bi. I don't choose my sexuality, the field of fire just encompasses the lot.
I'm very old-school so I typically classified myself as Kinsey 2. But yes, I'm pretty sure that the kiddies would refer to me as a "nominally het pan".
Hell naw. Ladies, I'm all yours.
I would choose to be attracted to both equally.